Urban Meyer Loves His Football Players, Hates His Family… If He’s Capable of “Love” and “Hate”

Hey, remember all that crap Urbs fed the world when he talked about how he wanted to recommit to his family? Remember the tale of how his daughter was so excited to get his father back? Yeah. It was all crap, and Urban Meyer is a football coaching robot with no need for things like “love of family.” But he finds plenty of use in manipulating humans.

“Sharrif was really confused and put a call into Coach Meyer. When they spoke Coach Meyer told him that he had a ‘dream’ the night before, and that Coach Meyer saw himself on the sideline coaching Sharrif. Told him that is was a “message from God that I should come back and coach, as I guess if it’s my time to die, I’d rather die on the sidelines coaching you than anywhere else in the world.

“Sharrif talked to us the next day and said Ohio State is great and all, but Coach Meyer said he would DIE for me. That’s pretty intense…

Urban Meyer is going to be on the sidelines at Florida in 2010. At this point, we are certain of that, and we’re pretty sure that Urban Meyer is a heartless football coaching robot. We imagine it must be difficult for Urban’s children to deal with the knowledge that they’re somehow, through the miracle of modern science, genetically related to a man with a fission device where his heart should be.

  • GeorgiaDomer (formerly Shoutboxx, LLC)

    You know, as many good points as you made against Meyer back when some people (not me) actually wanted him to be our next HC (not that it was ever even remotely possible), its taken this fiasco to win me completely over to your point of view about him.

    I can understand him having a tough time making the decision to walk away, but what he’s done has been ridiculous and the man clearly has no sense of the priorities in his life. Assuming he’s got plenty of money, only a complete tool in his position would pick returning to football over his health and family. And now, he has the audacity to claim that GOD SENT HIM A MESSAGE TO COME BACK TO COACH? Are you f***ing kidding me?!?!?! It’s freaking FOOTBALL, Urban, and as much as me and millions of other people enjoy watching it, its not “do or die” important and you’re not the Pope, the President, Jack Bauer, or anything in between. Lives are NOT on the line here, except yours, you jackass.

    What a douche.

  • undnut

    He did have the chosen one playing QB for four years. I guess it’s not surprising the almighty contacted him during REM sleep.

  • Greenman

    “Sharrif talked to us the next day and said Ohio State is great and all, but Coach Meyer said he would DIE for me. That’s pretty intense…” Also kinda gay.

  • SDI

    Good didn’t tell him anything. It’s just b.s. to get these kids to go to Florida. Thinking God wants you to coach football is sad–inventing some story about god wanting you to coach football so you can bag recruits is pathetic.

  • SDI

    God didn’t tell him anything. Good didn’t either.