Saban Makes it Count

An underwhelmed Nick Saban was interviewed after his team's National Championship (!) victory yesterday. A stoic Saban didn't seem happy at all.

Reporter: "Coach Saban, you just won the national championship, where are you going?"

Rather than the traditional Super Bowl-esque response of Disney World, Saban went with:

Saban: "Well, first I'm going to shower. Stupid kids got my white shirt all red with the Fruit Punch Gatorade. They could've at least chosen the Lime one. Sheesh. Then I'm going straight to Pepsi's Corporate HQ to negotiate a fee for all this free promotion they got from me getting drenched. From there, I'm going to renegotiate my contract. Did you see how much more Mack Brown makes than me a year? I mean, seriously, I saw that graphic on ABC. He makes 1 million dollars more than me. Per Year! And I just beat him! Then, as soon as I negotiate that, I'm off to meet with a few pro teams to get even more money."

I've never seen someone so joyless in victory. Saban just seemed annoyed with the whole thing. I'm sure part of it is that he feels WAY underpaid, and he's getting a little impatient having been with the same team for more than 6 months. But really, dude seems to be the Grinch of College Football.

Yeah, that's pretty bad graphics work, but I stand by it!

Nick, cheer up a little buddy. You're rich, you're winning, and no one at Bama has any control over you whatsoever. You'll get to sign 45 guys this year and send 20 to JC. What else do you need to be happy, man?

Other Coach Celebrations

So this got me thinking - how would different coaches celebrate a MNC? Let's see...

Charlie Weis - had it ever happened, Chuck would've spent time with family and friends. And Bon Jovi. And Pizza. Lots of Pizza. Topped with Burgers.

Urban Meyer - Meyer would immediately hold a PC to thank everyone that made his 4 MNC's possible. When asked how he got to 4 rather than 3, he would say "Trust me, it's 4. Have faith in me. It's 4." And all the recruits would believe him. Then he'd hit the parking lot to ask some of his players if he could shoot their AK-47's into the air. Good, Clean, Fun!

Tyrone Willingham - After being annoyed at being interrupted mid-swing on the tee of the 16th hole, he'd have been really happy to find out that his team had a game, let alone that it was the MNC, and they won! Hot Damn!. And then he would have claimed that the MNC is racist for not allowing him to win it sooner.

Mike Leach - Coke. Hookers. More Coke.

Rich Rodriguez - HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. We know that can never, ever...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH. Okay. No, I'm Okay...HHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. Really...I'm okay...

HAHA.

Mack Brown - Immediate retirement.

Joe Paterno - Immediate death. That deal with the Devil expires as soon as that game ends.

Jim Harbaugh - Would call up his Father and say "See, Daddy, I'm good too! My job matters too! College coaching is JUST AS IMPORTANT AS COACHING IN THE PROS DADDY!!! WHY IS JOHNNY THE FAVORITE?!?!?!?!? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Rick Neuheisel - Would immediately call his bookie to see how much he'd be collecting. At 10,000 to 1, he'd be rolling in it.

HA. (still laughing from thinking of RR winning a NC, hehe)

Poodle Pete - Would hand out each players' share of his salary in the locker room. "$10,000 each men, you earned it." And then would head off to his girlfriend's place in Malibu.

Brian Kelly - We'll find out in a few short years. Hey-oooooo!