It’s the people that make me hate college football. And by “people,” I mean everyone. They ruin an otherwise entertaining exercise of tactics, strategy, and athletic competition. Between the college “kids” who are freaking 18-22 years old and should know better than to do some of the stupid things they do, and the coaches who get paid in ways that would make Goldman Sachs employees blush to do things that would make members of the Russian Mafia shake their heads, the people involved in this sport are intolerable. Still, there exists no living entity in this sport more repugnant, more pathetic, and more deserving of mass extinguishment via meteor collision than the fans. And there is simply no period of time during the college football calendar year worse for college football fans’ resumes than “crunch time” at the end of a recruiting year; a time apparently viewed by many vocal fans as a time to shine like wet dog feces in the sun. God damn, I freaking hate the fans.

There are fans who celebrate that one of their coveted recruits didn’t manage to qualify for a competing program. There are the fans who friend recruits on Facebook. There are the fans who declare that a new coach’s leash is a lot shorter with them now that a kid they didn’t approve has gleefully accepted a scholarship offer to fulfill a dream. There are fans who speak of “cohorts” and stars as though the future of a kid can be determined via those pieces of information with any level of success. There are fans who speak in outrage over recruiting and depth chart decisions without being able to so much as muster the ability to create an informed opinion on their nation’s politics. And there are fans who will demolish a recruit from one side of their mouth while trying to maintain their “classy” reps with faux shows of support from the other side.

And then there are probably the worst fans of all: The fans who take the pride they hold in their college football programs to levels that the bible has warned us about. The sort of pride that makes you fully understand why it’s a cardinal sin; because it’s flipping annoying, and anyone who would willingly be that annoying to the rest of the human population probably should do some time in hell.

To watch massive numbers of presumably grown people go into moralistic conniption fits that nearly threaten their imperfect balance on their high horses over who gets what offers – what the hell does that have to do with a moral plane anyway? – is just maddening. How the hell will humanity ever figure out… anything?

And save me your “pot, kettle” retorts and you what little wit you may possess if you disagree. I get it. I’m probably a part of the problem by hosting this site. Believe me, I’m considering what to do about it. But frankly, there are much larger, much more popular sites that are wrought with myopia and mental fumbles that would make stroke victims feel pitty, and so long as they’re around, until we find a better way, we may as well use whatever opportunity we have to point out their absurd lapses of critical thinking and the ugliness of their thoughts.

God damned people.

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According to this article, ND’s new OC, Charley Molnar, created a new kind of offense while coaching at Cincy.

Molnar served as Cincinnati’s run passing game coordinator.

Those defenses better watch out. Because our current OC has crazy experience…as a Run Passing Game Coordinator.

What is that? I have no idea. But dudes running all over the place, passing it to one another, that sounds crazy sweet to me. Can’t wait to see the half-back double option reverse hail mary hook and pitch sweep square in QB keeper play. It’s gonna be AWESOME.

Or, it could be a typo. But that’s boring.

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So much about the coaches. So much about Jimmy and Golden and their leaving.

But, to me, the Irish will go as far as Dayne Crist takes them. Crist is the story this off-season. This is his team. And this has as much to do with what ND’s new leader does off the field as it does on it.

Let’s not forget, Dayne is the kid that signed up to play at ND right behind the Lebron James of CFB. He’s a kid that held together a recruiting class through a 3-9 year – a class that ended up consensus Top 5, and considered by many to be the #1 class in the nation that year.

Crist is the kid that works out in the gym as much or more than his peers. He’s a gym rat. He’s a worker. And he took on as much of a leadership role as a player could as a backup QB – he led by his work ethic, and by supporting the guys around him.

Now, it’s Dayne’s turn. Even hurt, this is his team. He’s the type of guy that others will follow. He steps up, he does it right, he’s a leader.

I’m not sure when he’ll be healed, and when he’ll be able to play again full speed. It may not even by August, who knows. But make no mistake, Dayne Crist is the leader of this team. As he goes, so go the Irish.

We’re in good hands.

Let’s get it done, Dayne.

Let’s go #10, let’s go. Get the boys goin’.

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Coach Brian Kelly, your pledge name is Captain Marko Ramius, and so it shall continue to be until such time that we, the Loyal Sons, are able to determine whether you plan to launch your nuclear ballistics all over the Nation of Notre Dame, or if you really are doing something absurdly clever with your cagey moves like inviting a kid with one offer – from William & Mary – for an official visit just before signing day, cancelling walk-on try-outs and dashing the hopes and dreams of countless would-be-Rudys (albeit, temporarily), and making scholarship offers to eleventeen quarterbacks in the 2010 class. You sir, are an enigma. Like a Russian sub commander with a Scottish accent, you’ve got us totally perplexed and completely hooked. We look forward to seeing where this takes us.

Oh sure, there are some who’d like to hunt you down and sink you before we get to the climax of your little plan, but we’d like to see what you’ve got in mind. Just one thing: Be careful what you shoot at. Some things at Notre Dame don’t react well to misfired bullets*.

*Yes. We know that’s not even close to the actual quotation.

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Oooooh ooh oooooooh, you, B! K!……

Walk on, walk on
What you got, well we need it
But we’re busy this spring ‘and
Walk on, walk on…
Come on out in the summer
We know it’s a bummer
Walk on…

/WHISPERED: Just not yet.

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Sometime in mid-November:

Fan #1: Man, Weis has to go. I mean, this is horrible. UCONN????? Give me a break!

Fan #2: I know man. I mean, when he’s gone recruiting will take a huge hit. Transitions always do, and Weis was a great recruiter. But it’ll be worth it. Fat Charlie just HAS TO GO.

#1: Seriously.

#2: Seriously.

#1: Mickey D’s?

#2: Word.

Early December…

#1: What the HELL is Swarbrick thinking? I mean, WHAT IS THIS MAN THINKING???? Charlie was fired 4 days ago and STILL NO COACH????? I’m ’bout ready to bust a cap in Savvy Jack’s @$$ baby!

#2: I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. I mean, how tough is it to just go hire Urban Meyer or Nick Saban? I mean, forget that Meyer declared he’s never coming here, and nevermind that Saban is in the BCS National Championship game…we should have one of those Tier 1 guys LOCKED DOWN? Swarbrick is the worst!!!

#1: Really? Jack? 4 days and no announcement? What are you doing, interviewing Lane Kiffin??? HAHAHAHAHAHA.

#2: No one would ever hire that guy, not even ND

#1: Dude, let’s hit TCBY.

#2: Solid.

Late December…

#1: Man, I don’t know about Kelly. I mean, he talks a good game, but he hasn’t brought in a single 5-star recruit.

#2: I know what you mean. How could he lose CHRIS MARTIN? I mean, that guy was OUR GUY! He was as solid as they come, what the HELL?

Mid-January…

#1: These assistants, I’ve never heard of them. I mean, I’d at least HEARD of Tenuta, ya know? I mean, the guy sucked at ND, but I’d HEARD of him! Shouldn’t we only be going after all the big name assistant coaches out there in college football? You know, because WE ARE N. D.!

#2: Right, all those big name assistants like…ummmmm…well, I don’t think there’s such thing as a big name assistant. Because big name assistants are called Head Coaches for the most part.

#1: Right….Hot Topic? I need a sweet new ironic T with a cartoon character on it.

#2: You’re so money and you don’t even know it. Pshaw!

Yesterday…

#1: I don’t get it. Brian Kelly literally just TOLD Barr to go to UCLA. I heard him say it: “Barr, you go to UCLA. You, hey you, Leuders? Yeah, you go off to Stanford! I only want 2-Star recruits ’round here. I’m making this Cincy Northwest, got it? NOOOOOO, I don’t want any top recruits here. Just the small-time guys that really want to work. That’s right!” – Can you BELIEVE he said that? It’s like he’s not even TRYING. I think he and his ’staff’ are just hanging out. Really, WORSE THAN TY!!!!!!

#2: Totally man. We haven’t seen a single recruiting class yet. There’s not been one practice. But man, I’m over Kelly. I say it’s time for a change!

#1: I know we said that it’d be okay to lose a few guys to get rid of Charlie, but Kelly has lost 3 WHOLE PLAYERS from this class. And think about it – he’s had a FULL 3 WEEKS of time to recruit them. WTF? How could he lose these guys? I just can’t believe it…

#2: I know man…hey, want to stop in Abercrombie? Pick up some gear?

#1: Solid /FISTBUMP

EDIT 1:

Just to be clear, I’m not 1000% optimistic about Kelly’s hire. I’m just not willing to call the guy a bust or to question WTF ARE YOU DOING??!?!!?!?!?! when he’s had a staff together for <4 weeks, and hasn't held a single practice. There's a middle ground where we should all live – healthy skepticism with a bit of hope. If he goes 6-6? Okay, then, I'll start grumbling. But the level of self-righteous dissatsifaction and questioning (of a guy that's been a head coach for a long time and has won every step of the way) is annoying.

EDIT 2: My own site won't let me comment, so this is for DTK and his attempt to compare Kelly to RichRod: You're completely insane. This is so amazingly different from RR I can't believe that even you would make comparisons. A few differences – A) Kelly's transition was pretty seamless, not a complete trainwreck B) Not every player on the team chose to bail on Kelly, like they did RR C) Kelly isn't a D-bag

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Since the 2010 recruits entered high school…

…Notre Dame’s football team has lost to the following teams:

Southern Cal, four times; Michigan, three times; Boston College, Michigan State, Navy, and Pitt, twice each; Air Force, Georgia Tech, LSU, North Carolina, Penn State, Purdue, Stanford, Syracuse, and UConn.

And that’s not even the horrible part that makes me feel old and creaky. Go hit the link to Classic Ground and prepare to be reminded that those “laugh lines” aren’t going away anytime soon.

No wonder The Shirt slogans all seem unoriginal. The makers must be running out of material that transfers easily to today’s high-falutin’ digital media.

Anyway, yeah, this weekend sucked (see below), but if we can Just. Win. Baby. we’ll be alright next year.

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Though expected, ND lost a few solid guys over the weekend.

DE/OLB Blake Leuders, a Catholic from Indiana with solid grades and a great frame, dropped ND for Stanford.

RB Gio Bernard dropped ND and ND is no longer in the running.

Barr chose UCLA over ND last week.

These were three of the higher-rated guys considering ND/in the class to date, and Leuders was in a position of need as he would have likely grown to play DL. Barr as a Safety would have been a huge get, as ND is super thin there currently (why can’t we land Safeties? it’s quite strange).

These are three fine young men that we’ll miss, no doubt. But more than anything we need something to turn the momentum around. Some good news on the recruiting front.

Ego Ferguson could make up for the loss of Leuders. Maybe Riley and/or Cooper come on board to fill that Safety spot. At this point, we need some of the bigger targets to jump on board. Kelly needs to close a few big time, 4-5 star players shortly to shore up this class.

We were solid and looking good a week ago, and we have definitely made strides with a lot of top recruits out there. (Christian Jones, a guy that had pretty much written ND off, has us back in the mix. Henderson is keeping ND up there.)

But after a weekend like this, Coach Kelly needs to close and close big going into signing day. That will be the difference between a lower-top 10/15 class, and something in the lower 20’s. And more than anything, the momentum is key.

Even if we end up with the class we have now, it would be an admirable effort and a not-bad result for a transition year. Typically, transition years are just mulligans and nobody really counts them. But Kelly has a chance to bring in a solid group. Let’s close it out, Coach.

We a

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We’ve been thinking in charts a lot this week. Here’s how we’re seeing Urban Meyer today after the most recent bit of news.

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ND has the record for Most National Championships. No matter how you look at it.

Uncle Lou does a clean and clear breakdown in his latest article. Solid.

Net-Net, ND leads in each way it’s been examined. ESPN recently chose the one method that short-changes ND and helps ‘Bama, but it’s only one of 3, and the other 2 put ND well ahead of Bama.

I flipped the order on these compared to Lou, putting what I consider the best/most standard accounting first, followed by the next best, followed by the ‘all-in’, which (even though it helps ND) seems a little bogus.

Method 1) Big Four (AP, UPI/Coaches, Football Writers Assoc., National Football Foundation).

This is the ’standard’. The one people tend to use as “Consensus”.

1. Notre Dame – 12
2. Alabama – 8

This is the right answer. ND has the most, followed by Alabama.

Method 2) The Originals (AP and UPI/Coaches)

1. Notre Dame – 8*
2. Alabama – 8*
3(T) Oklahoma- 7
3(T) USC – 7
5(T) Miami – 5
5(T) Nebraska- 5
5(T) Ohio St – 5

Followed by Texas, Minnesota, Florida, LSU, FSU, Michigan (sucks), PSU, Pitt, Army and Tennessee (who only has 2 btw).

*Why is ND #1? Well, as Lou points out, ND beat Bama in 1973 when Bama won the ‘regular season’ national championship. The UPI gave them the title before the bowl games, where ND beat Bama (to win the AP that year). So, really, ND should have 9 and Bama 7 in this accounting. Dont forget that Bama lost to Texas in the ‘64 Orange Bowl but still claims the UPI that year. So really, Texas should jump up a spot, and Bama should be down to 6. So don’t let this ‘tie’ fool you. ND is the clear leader.

Method 3) “All-In” (All the services that ever named a National Champ pulled together)

Lou gets into the detail here, but needless to say this is kind of a tough metric. This means there were often multiple winners in a year, and the same team could potentially win 3-4 different National Championships at some points, or even more teams could all claim the win in a single year. But, Lou did the work, so it’s only fair to comment.

Comment: ND wins. Again.

1. Notre Dame – 21
2(T) Alabama – 16
2(T) Michigan – 16
2(T) Oklahoma – 16
2(T) USC – 16
6. Ohio State – 12

Then Nebraska and Pitt, Princeton Yale (who both have….EIGHT!)

Anyway, it’s plain to see who owns the most MNC’s in college football. ND, in every method.

Now can we PLEASE add another sometime soon?

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Smart Football posted a collection of “Montana Magic” videos. Go check it out.

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Really. God loves me. I mean, he’s not into the lying, the cheating, the presiding over the most arrests ever (25) in a 4 year period. None of that. But really, God told me to coach you. And he told me to bail on my family and that my health will be just fine. He also told me to play Blackjack soon – said he’d hook me up. You want to go to Vegas?

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Thank the Lord.

6-5-1 is light years better than 7-4-1. As is 7-5.

Jack, please make one of these the goal, and 7-4-1 the exception. That’d be nice.

Q: You were open to creating some flexibility with the 7-4-1 scheduling model. How is that playing out as you move forward with the scheduling?

A: “We have the goal of the 7-4-1 model, but there may be some years where an opportunity presents itself that we may go to 6-5-1 or 7-5. We’re open to those sorts of modifications.”

Few other tidbits in there as well. Jack likes Stanford, Duke and Wake Forest as opponents. Yeah, that’s fine, but let’s make sure that for each of those we get a bigger program in FOOTBALL as well.

The idea of Chuck staying on as OC was at least discussed…would’ve been cool, but would never work with Brian Kelly as HC. And probably wouldn’t work with 99% of coaches. But, would’ve been cool.

Q: There were rumblings about contingency plans that would have allowed Charlie Weis to remain at Notre Dame in 2010 in a reduced role, offensive coordinator. Was that really ever a viable option?

A: “I wouldn’t describe it as ‘contingency plans.’ That wouldn’t be fair at all. I think if an incoming coach didn’t have a plan for an offensive coordinator, it would have been an interesting conversation, one I would have been happy to facilitate, but there were no plans. We weren’t out there in our search for a coach having that be a contingency, for example.”

Swarbrick seems to not be in the running for the NCAA Presidency in the short run, though that could change…not sure how much of this is a non-denial denial. We’ll have to see.

Q: During the coaching search, there was a lot of speculation about your own future. A lot of people speculated that you may be the next NCAA president. Is that something you’re interested in? Is that a possibility?

A: “Myles (Brand) did a great job as the NCAA president, and I’m a great admirer of his. We all benefit from his legacy with the NCAA. As a result, they will focus on a university president as a successor, and I think that’s a good thing. I think Myles had a cachet with the university presidents that helped him get some of those important things done – like the APR (Academic Progress Rates).”

Q: Is it something that might interest you down the road, or because you’re not a university president, does that take that out of the realm of possibilities?

A: “I don’t see it as a possibility, but I care about the industry, so I can’t tell you that sometime down the road, if I had the opportunity to lead somewhere, that I wouldn’t have an interest in it. But all of my energy right now is focused here, and I see myself focused here for a long time.”

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Hey, remember all that crap Urbs fed the world when he talked about how he wanted to recommit to his family? Remember the tale of how his daughter was so excited to get his father back? Yeah. It was all crap, and Urban Meyer is a football coaching robot with no need for things like “love of family.” But he finds plenty of use in manipulating humans.

“Sharrif was really confused and put a call into Coach Meyer. When they spoke Coach Meyer told him that he had a ‘dream’ the night before, and that Coach Meyer saw himself on the sideline coaching Sharrif. Told him that is was a “message from God that I should come back and coach, as I guess if it’s my time to die, I’d rather die on the sidelines coaching you than anywhere else in the world.

“Sharrif talked to us the next day and said Ohio State is great and all, but Coach Meyer said he would DIE for me. That’s pretty intense…

Urban Meyer is going to be on the sidelines at Florida in 2010. At this point, we are certain of that, and we’re pretty sure that Urban Meyer is a heartless football coaching robot. We imagine it must be difficult for Urban’s children to deal with the knowledge that they’re somehow, through the miracle of modern science, genetically related to a man with a fission device where his heart should be.

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Here’s the story. And another take from the genius that went after Kiffin yesterday.

Kiffin started his PC talking about how clean they’ll be. 1 – USC doesn’t want to be clean as an institution. This hiring makes that clear. 2 – Kiffin has no ability to run a clean program. This is also obvious.

Ed Orgeron, USC Assistant, admitted the violation:

“Yes, I did call recruits…,” Orgeron said, according to the report. “In my knowledge, I followed the rules correctly.”

Orgeron would not say which players he contacted, how many he contacted or whether he had offered them scholarships to USC, according to the report. He also refused to say whether he told recruits planning to enroll early at Tennessee not to attend their first classes this week in order to avoid transfer rules.

A parent gives a bit more detail on the interaction…

Jeff Bray, the father of Tennessee quarterback recruit Tyler Bray, said Orgeron made a pitch to several recruits gathered in a room over speakerphone, and that he offered USC scholarships to some players, according to the report.

“[Tyler] didn’t think it was very cool,” Jeff Bray said, describing Tyler’s reaction to the pitch. “You’re in the middle of all this turmoil and they’re trying to pull players. … My understanding was a lot of [the players] got very angry and voiced their anger on the phone.”

THIS IS A CLEAR NCAA VIOLATION if Orgeron talked to any student that had already enrolled. Seems pretty clear he did.

An NCAA spokesperson told the Times that a school cannot contact an enrollee at another school without that university’s permission. The spokesperson said the NCAA could work with USC and Tennessee to obtain “relevant fact and data” about Orgeron’s interactions with the Tennessee recruits.

GOOD LORD. You have a coach hired with 6 infractions in his FIRST YEAR. You have him going to a program facing HUGE allegations that could get, nay, NEEDS to get absolutely slammed with sanctions…AND THE DUDE’s STAFF HAS A VIOLATION WITHIN 24 HOURS OF THE HIRING BEING ANNOUNCED.

ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS???????

NCAA: DO. YOUR. JOB.

Add this to the list, and come down on this program. They’ve been horrible with institutional control, and clearly it’s part of the culture to cheat. They just hired a dude, and his staff CHEATED VIRTUALLY IMMEDIATELY. WTF.

And this happened within 24 hours of Kiffin saying that they would NOT be poaching recruits. This guy literally does not have the ability to tell the truth…

Kiffin said during his introductory press conference Wednesday that USC would not pursue Tennessee recruits unless they contact the Trojans staff first. “I’ve told [Tennessee Athletic Director] Mike Hamilton I will not recruit the players that go there unless they call me,” he said.

Wake the EFF up NCAA. No more investigating. No more letting USC stonewall you. If you want to maintain any semblance of integrity….if you want to ensure that this game doesn’t go bat shit crazy with all kinds of shady stuff happening daily at programs nationwide – and I mean serious and blatant payment of players – you NEED to come down on USC. And not with a slap on the wrist.

GET SOME BALLS NCAA!

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