Scene: Last winter. Pete Carroll, Urban Meyer, and the staff of Bluechip Athletic Solutions sit in a meeting room in an evil lair located on an island somewhere in the Pacific.
Carroll: Do you know why we've brought you here?
BAS Staffer (scared, sheepish): Um, no. Where the hell are we?
Meyer: We'll ask the questions.
Carroll: I'll ask the questions. You're here because we've received word from our spies that Notre Dame has contracted you to build and host a new website to help with their football recruiting efforts. A site much like my USCRIPSIT.COM.
Meyer: And my site, PrideAndJorts.com (coming soon).
BAS Staffer: Um. Okay. Yeah. We're building their new site: InsideNotreDameFootball.com But we can just stop and tell them we can't build it if you'll just let us go home!
Carroll: Imbecile!
BAS Staffer: We're sorry! We'll stop! We didn't know you'd be so upset!
Carroll: Fool! You think we want you to stop? Why would we want you to stop?
Meyer: Wait. I thought we wanted them to stop.
Carroll: No! We don't want them to stop! Don't you see? This is an opportunity. This is a weakness! We can use this!
BAS Staffer: So what do you want us to do?
Carroll: We want you to make the site so lame that it'll practically chase recruits away from South Bend and right into Los Angeles.
Meyer: ...and Gainesville.
Carroll: Whatever.
BAS Staffer: Um, well, I guess we could do that. If you'll promise to let us go. What did you have in mind?
Carroll: It musn't be too obvious. If it were, Charlie Weis would see right through it. No. We must be subtle about it. It must not be obvious to him, or he'll kill the whole project.
Meyer: We could have them use #000033 instead of #000066 for their background color!
Carroll: No! I've got a better idea! We'll strike where Weis is most vulnerable and most blind: His taste in music!
Meyer: I don't understand.
Carroll: BAS, make the music insufferably lame. Make sure it's impossible for any male, aged 16-20, to tolerate the music that plays over the highlight videos.
Meyer: ND has highlight videos?
Carroll: Shut it!
BAS Staffer: Um. Well, actually, they're already pretty heavy handed with that "Here Come the Irish" song. So I think we've got you covered.
Carroll: No! We don't know that such a song will send recruits scurrying. It must be something even worse than Here Come the Irish.
Meyer: I really like that tune. Gets me daydreamin'.
Carroll: Shut it! I've got an idea. Use music so universally reviled that even Meyer here would realize it's bad.
BAS Staffer: Well, we could use Nickleback.
Carroll: Nickleback!
Meyer: Nickleback!? Which song?
Carroll: Does it really matter, Urb!?
Meyer: I, uh, well. I was just wondering because I have some of their stuff on my iPod.
Carroll: I'm only surprised you have an iPod and can use a computer.
Meyer: Computer?
BAS Staffer: Look. We'll do it if you'll let us go. We'll use Nickleback on the track for the first video that auto-plays on the site. But this could ruin us. People will know we did that. It could destroy our firm. We need some sort of compensation.
Carroll: Oh, don't you worry. I know all about compensation. Mehehehehehehe! Mehehehehehehe! Meheheheheheheheheheeeee...!!!!
By trey August 3, 2009 - 12:30 pm
awww, someone’s jealous!
I like the site, personally. Yeah, Nickelback is WAY overplayed on the radio, but for that clip, the song is pretty apropos. I’m surprised you didn’t rip em for having Hammond on the play-by-plays. Another area where I disagree with a lot of ND brethren.
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By san diego irish August 3, 2009 - 12:32 pm
A whole lot of work went into that site. Those dudes must be expecting to make some $$$, or just have way too much time on their hands.
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By domer.mq August 3, 2009 - 12:36 pm
It’s actually a pretty nice site, though, from a trade-craft POV, I’d have done some things differently. My reaction was: “This is a nice site” until Nickleback started playing over my speakers.
You guys do realize it’s owned by ND, right? I don’t think they’re trying to make money, SDI, so much as win recruits.
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By san diego irish August 3, 2009 - 12:44 pm
No, had no idea it was owned by ND. I was going to ask but didn’t. I thought some of those highlights were pretty sweet and from different angles than I was used to seeing. That explains it.
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By trey August 3, 2009 - 12:58 pm
Alls I know is that I’m now more pumped for some football than I was before. Something must have worked.
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By domer.mq August 3, 2009 - 1:02 pm
SDI, clearly my clever little scene, wherein I had Pete Carroll and Urban Meyer kidnapping the entire development staff and convince them to subvert efforts by Charlie Weis and ND to create a site that would help ND recruiting didn’t read very well. I feel like I should scrap the post or something.
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By DeepTeaKup August 3, 2009 - 1:16 pm
domer, I think you spent more time on this article than the folks working on that site spent on usabiliy testing.
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By domer.mq August 3, 2009 - 1:19 pm
DTK, who the hell needs usability testing when you have Flash!? And auto-playing video!? And a flash-based splash page! And sound effects on every user action!
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By san diego irish August 3, 2009 - 1:21 pm
DMQ–it’s not you, it’s more an issue of reading comprehension. If I wouldn’t have blown by this line: “You’re here because we’ve received word from our spies that Notre Dame has contracted you to build and host a new website to help with their football recruiting efforts.” It would all have made a lot more sense. Even having missed that, it was still a witty post–funny and clever.
Also, I only looked at the site for a minute (I still pretend to be working occasionally) and it didn’t look all that polished to me. The video reel was sweet, but I saw some other hickups. I think that led me to conclude it was not an official site. Although the ND logo everywhere probably should have been a major clue.
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By The Subway Domer August 3, 2009 - 2:54 pm
The only good thing from that site is Sergio Brown. Something tells me, taht he took a lot of pleasure out of chopping Swarbricks face.
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By Garran November 8, 2009 - 8:33 am
nice! i’ve made my own journal
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