Unique Partnership to Help People Across the Nation Sleep Better
The Biscuit - 2:51 pm
Even though it’s only for one night, they will make a difference. ESPN/ABC has partnered with the Sleep Foundation in an effort to help millions of Americans rest better.
The two organizations came together to ensure that the world’s most boring opponent, Purdue, would be a night game this year, bringing some much needed rest to the nation’s restless.
“With all of the stress today, from the shaky economy, to the perpetual decommitting of coveted recruits, to Octomom’s freaky deaky-ness, we just thought this would be a great way to help people get one solid night’s rest in the Fall. The combination of Purdue Football and a start time after 5pm is the perfect recipe to put millions of Americans to bed early that evening. Even though Notre Dame football is inherently exciting, this won’t be close to enough to keep folks awake with Purdue in the mix, and our goal will be met,” said a spokesperson from the Sleep Foundation.
Once ND goes up by 35 in the first half, even those of us that care can allow the sweet, vacuous emptiness that is Purdue Football to rock us into a nice, soft, Irish-victory-filled REM sleep state, and dream of whatever it is we dream of…
The Muffin
Given the last line of your post, I’m assuming that you will be dreaming about when your team was considered to be an elite college football team. You might recall this; however, the current crop of college football players probably won’t, given the fact that most of them weren’t born at the time of your last national championship.
At least back then, you could boast about real issues and not simply rely on an arbitrary and inane measure of team superiority (i.e., how “boring” a program is). If it was applicable, I’m sure that you’d boast on ND’s “Drinkability” as well, since it too lacks a functional definition.
April 20, 2009 at 9:20 pmdomer.mq
Okay boys, I think we can count Muffin in the “Not Getting It” category. Also, count him in the “thinks Budweiser ads are cool” column.
April 20, 2009 at 10:45 pmThe Muffin
Uh, no. Budweiser ads are not cool. They are, perhaps, worse than the product that they promote – and that’s saying something.
Since you’re definitely “not getting it”, let me spell it out for you: The term “Drinkability” is a farcical, made up term to defend an inferior product. A ND fan calling Purdue football “boring” is an analogy to these “Drinkability” commercials.
In other words, Mr. domer.mq, calling Purdue “boring” is as sensical as saying Budweiser is superior because of its drinkability.
I hope that I can now count domer.mq in the “Understanding Commentary” column.
April 21, 2009 at 9:20 amdomer.mq
Ah. I see! Hey, everyone! Muffin is a purdue grad who thinks himself an intellectual! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
April 21, 2009 at 10:40 amThe Muffin
Or, you could go with the Miller Lite angle:
Notre Dame football is triple hops brewed. Thus, we’re better than your team.
Perhaps that comment will hit home, domer.mq.
April 21, 2009 at 11:09 amThe Biscuit
Muffin, you’re earnestly trying to make an argument that Purdue Football is comparable to ND Football, and you want us to take you seriously. Think about that for a moment please, if you can.
April 21, 2009 at 12:31 pmThe Muffin
Thanks, Biscuit. I have thought about it for a moment, thank you. I’m not trying to compare Purdue Football to ND Football (we all know that ND has those [dusty] championship banners and Purdue doesn’t). Thanks for the subtle reminder of your team’s past glories and my team’s lack thereof.
I’m simply trying to state that the whole “boring” angle that this website maintains about Purdue football is a joke. It’s an inane conversation that was invented by lame ND bloggers like yourself in an attempt to justify your perceived belief that ND football is still a national power.
I’m done here. To all the ND fans out there, keep drinking the Kool-aid and believing that anyone else in the nation believes that ND football is still an “elite” program. Get over it.
April 21, 2009 at 12:41 pmbrendan
Yawn. boring.
April 21, 2009 at 1:25 pmThe Biscuit
Muffin, you finally got it – it’s a joke! You’re right on! Congratulations (did it hurt?)
Oh wait, then you screwed it up with the second part. Stick with the first part, and you’re good to go. Stretching the logic here doesn’t work. I get that you’re offended and want to defend your school, but your leap to ‘you guys call Purdue boring so you can justify your perceived belief that ND is a national power’ is just off (and really, your statement makes no sense).
Yawwwwwn, I need a nap. You Purdue people are even boring when you argue. Power nap time!
April 21, 2009 at 1:27 pmNotre Dame (sucks!)
Her Loyal Sons: Proving once again that it’s impossible to have a logical conversation with a Notre Dame Football Fan.
April 21, 2009 at 1:57 pmThe Biscuit
Muffin, I thought you said you were done?
April 21, 2009 at 2:14 pmbrendan
Only a football team that would pose like this could have male fans who would name themselves “the Muffin.”
April 21, 2009 at 2:22 pmhttp://www.herloyalsons.com/blog/2006/09/28/finally-purdue-provides-some-material/#comments
Bad Kermit
These comments suck worse than anything I’ve read today. And I read Chicago sportswriting.
April 22, 2009 at 11:39 am