I would love to say that this will be a regular column, but I’d most likely be lying. I’ll probably do it twice and then forget. But what the hell…

More Like Spread n Suck

RichRod was supposed to bring the Spread n Shred to Ann Arbor. Judging by the first game, the Skunkbears have a long way to go. While not at the levels of ND’s anemic offense last year, UM’s offense didn’t look much better today. (The defense held okay in the 2nd half, but looked just as bad in the 1st, giving up 300+ yards.)

The point? Spread n Shred becomes Spread n Suck pretty quickly when you don’t have the right guys to play the scheme. Doesn’t matter if they’re ’super duper specially fit’ because of Barwis being a maniac. Doesn’t matter if DickRod ‘adjusts’ his scheme to the QB (which he clearly can’t do - did you see Threet try to run? hilarious).

Michigan (sucks!) managed a paltry 200 yards of total offense, with 1/6th of that coming on a single TD pass. McGuffie the super recruit had a solid 8 yards on 8 carries. Both QB’s looked shaky. Richie has some work to do.

Illinois Bring the Noise

Would somebody please, please please tell Lou Holtz that there’s no “noise” in Illinois? Good Lord, isn’t there an ESPN PA or someone that can help the guy out? He looks old and senile when he says stuff like that.

Pitt Wet the Bed

I think everyone has been giving this team a little more credit than deserved (including yours truly) based on 1) upticks in recruiting recently and 2) close game with WVU last year. The ‘Stache has been able to bring in some decent talent in the last year or so, but those guys are still super young. As we learned last year, raw talent needs time to develop, and learn. And people seemed to see the win last year against WVU as a sign of good things this year. But people also forget that Pat White was hurt in that game, and that the ‘backyard brawl’ is a game that Pitt will get up for, big time, every year. It’s their big rivalry game, they’ll be up for it.

Pitt is out of the Top 25, and won’t be back this year.

Ohio State Beats JV High School Team: Congrats Guys!

OSU played Youngstown State today. I had a full ride offered to me by YSU’s football program. When I was in 8th grade and a 100 pound soccer player. But I was quick! People try to bring down ND because of scheduling, but at least we don’t schedule HS Junior Varsity as competition.

JoePa’s Squad Puts Up Points Equal to Half His Age

66 points is a lot.
Coastal Carolina is a college?

Illinois Has No Identity without Mendenhall

Juice Williams is an okay QB, and Benn is a playmaker. But without Rashard in the backfield, this offense doesn’t work like it once did. If the Crookster can’t find a solid RB, the Illini will struggle this year.

Chase Is No Heisman Winner

Don’t get me wrong, the guy’s a good quarterback. Solid. Good skill. But last year he was in that room by default. There wasn’t a ton of other candidates that could be put in there, and he won a lot of games on a team that traditionally hasn’t. But he’s nowhere close to college’s best player.

On another note here, Bob Davie is a freaking moron. When asked what Chase had to do to win the Heisman, he said something along the lines of “it all comes back to winning”. Hey Bob, were you even paying attention last year? Tim freaking Tebow won the Heisman, on a team that lost 4 games. Mizzou had a better record - so if you’re theory’s correct, Chase should’ve won the Heisman. Idiot.

The PAC-10 Will Be Dominated by (gasp) USC Again

Some people thought that Cal might have a shot at pressing for the conference title this year. Best is a decent back, and Wiley has clearly won the starting job. But the rest of the offense is ‘meh’, and the defense is suspect.

(The other side of that game wasn’t much more impressive. Our resident UM fan DTK may have been right - we might have been a bit premature in drinking the Dantonio at MSU kool-aid.)

USC, meanwhile, looked really strong against an over-matched Virgina team. Yes, it’s Virginia, but USC looks like a ton of pros out there.

How is Bowden Screwing this up So Bad?

Everyone knows there’s talent down there, which is largely why Clemson was ranked so high by everyone, including us. Clearly, we were all way overly positive on this team.

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