I remember a few years ago I saw a really depressing documentary about rampaging STDs in India because the citizens of India had very strange notions about how STDs worked. For example, it was common “knowledge” in India’s trucking and shipping industry that you could protect yourself from most any STD so long as you washed your hands after employing a member of the oldest profession.

Sounds like Southern Cal might have weird notions as well…

Each day, it seems, another player shows up at USC football practice with a pained expression and an uncomfortable gait, feet spread wide, stepping gingerly across the turf.

They are victims of an ailment that has swept through the team during training camp, something that coaches refer to as “a skin irritation.”

The players call it “jock itch.”

While dislocated kneecaps and high ankle sprains draw more attention, Coach Pete Carroll said he has never seen anything like the minor outbreak that caused key players to miss practice Wednesday.

As much as 25% of the team has been affected by the apparent run of tinea cruris, kicker David Buehler estimated. The condition seems to have spread by way of new compression shorts, or tights, worn under their football pants.

Tailback Joe McKnight and receiver Travon Patterson were sufficiently afflicted to spend Wednesday’s practice on the sideline.

“It burns,” Patterson said.

In recent years, the team has battled more serious incidents of staph infection, employing measures such as washing uniforms in hotter water.

Also in the non-traditional injury category, defensive end Wes Horton said he and teammate Christian Tupou got food poisoning last weekend from salmon they ate on campus.

The illness passed quickly and the Trojans are hoping for similar luck with what Carroll delicately referred to as chafing.

“We’ve had to adjust to some new equipment that we’re wearing that didn’t work out right,” he said. “It’s funny how that happened.”

Maybe not so funny to the players.

“Sometimes they can’t walk,” said tailback Stafon Johnson, who could giggle because he has remained itch-free. “I don’t know what it is, but I’m staying away from it.”

First of all, those compression shorts? They rule. And they actually help reduce skin irritations born of athletic endeavors. But if you don’t wear them, you wont be protected. Second, “it burns?” Third, 2 of the players felt terrible after eating something fishy? At least Stafon Johnson knows that the best protection is to stay away from it all.

Under Armour: Can only protect against so much.

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