We give you this photo. Photoshop it. Caption it. Print it out and paste it to the cubicle wall of a Michigan (sucks!) fan you know and love. Whatever. Just enjoy it. (HT: The Big Lead)
If you’d like to know all there is to know about THLSTNHT25-PE, click here.
After utilizing a Google Spreadsheet large enough to cover the Google Earth, we’ve managed to figure out what teams are good enough to show up on voters’ ballots, probably due to some mental snafu, but are not good enough to show up on our Top 25. Welcome to mediocreville, these teams, population: you.
The teams that also received votes:
Utah: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 16th. Average rank among all ballots: 22.66. After starting the 2007 season with a 1-3 record, the Utes may have been wondering if the program really had fallen on the expected hard times post-Urban Meyer. But the one win was a 44-6 blow-out of the “#11″ UCLA. Of course, none of us really understood just how bad UCLA was that early in the season, but the Utes did manage to pull together 8 more wins and just one more loss to finish out the season. That’s a good coaching job no matter what conference you’re in, and no matter how many Wyomings and New Mexicos you get to play.
Florida State: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 18th. Average rank among all ballots: 23.33. The ‘Noles are probably just happy to be stuck in neutral with a 2007 record of 7-6 and a “hard fought” bowl loss to Kentucky as the fans, and probably some of the players, anxiously await the retirement celebrations for Bobby Bowden that will also (more importantly?) herald the dawning of the Jimbo Fisher era.
Tennessee: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 20th. Average rank among all ballots: 23.33. Seems like a weird notion that a coach that has a 77% winning percentage over 17 years and a national championship under his extended belt would be on the hotseat, but that’s the very position that Phil Fulmer finds himself in, and you can smell the frying fat all the way up here in Chicago (no, that’s not Krispy Kreme). They went 10-4 last year, but Tennessee is only 3-5 in bowl games since the NC and they’ve only appeared in 1 BCS game in that time.
Georgia Tech: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 23rd. Average rank among all ballots: 24. No, no. The rather lofty heights for a program still recovering from the Chan Gailey era has nothing to do with the fact that the new coach took a bunch of really tiny kids and beat Notre Dame last season. Ok, yeah, it’s probably got everything to do with that. Last year’s 7-6 record does say one thing about the fans of Georgia Tech, however: They’re probably not gonna be real happy with a “rebuilding” season that looks like 3-9 in 2008.
Nebraska: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 21st. Average rank among all ballots: 24.33. Lots of talk about “the return to Nebraska Football,” with the arrival of Bo Pelini. And lots of harumphing and usage of the term “black shirts,” given Pelini’s defensive prowess. I guess we’ll just have to wait an see.
Wake Forest: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 21st. Average rank among all ballots: 24.33. After a 9-4 record last year (at Wake!) and a BCS appearance the year before (at Wake!), some may be surprised to learn that Jim Grobe is still the HC (at Wake!). Hate to say it, but you know all of those, “John McCain is so old” jokes? All ripped off from their original “Jim Grobe is so old” format.
UConn: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 23rd. Average rank among all ballots: 25. Remember when UConn didn’t even have a D1 football program? In 2003 they finally had a full 85-man scholarship roster, and in 2004, Randy Edsall lead them to their first bowl game win. But then they suffered a bit of a dip, during a time with just 6 seniors on the roster (sound familiar?), and it took until 2007 to really recover with a 9-4 record and co-Big East Championship.
Fresno State: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 23rd. Average rank among all ballots: 25. Pat Hill and the Bulldogs recovered from a brutal 4-8 season in 2006 with a nice 9-4 season last year along with a blow-out bowl game win over GaTech when the Jackets were probably not all that into it. This year they return 17 starters, including 10 on an offense that ramped up their point production by 10 ppg last year.
Pitt: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 24th. Average rank among all ballots: 25. Any vote for Pitt is less a vote for head coach Dave Wannstedt, and more a vote for RB LeSean McCoy. McCoy is the sort of talent that could very well carry a team like Pitt, in a league like the Big East to a record of 9-3 in the regular season, particularly against a slate that starts with Bowling Green, Buffalo, and Iowa.
Air Force: Highest place in a voter’s ballot: 25th. Average rank among all ballots: 25.66. Sharing the honor of being one of only 2 military academies to beat Notre Dame in 2007, the Falcons put together a 9-4 record while implementing Troy Calhoun’s more “modern” offense. But last year this squad featured a very senior and savvy roster. This year, the Falcons only return 8 starters - 3 on offense. Yikes.So, any teams we didn’t mention that you think will be firmly entrenched in the “Eh. They might give us a game,” territory?
It’s the weekend before the Fourth O’July, when Chicago deploys every cop ever hired by the city to write out parking tickets, half of the city’s population stands in a 45 minute line for a single potato chip to take the “Lay’s Taste Test Challenge,” tens of thousands of men and women wear tank tops when they really, really shouldn’t, countless photos are taken of the obese eating “cheesecake on a stick” and “plate of deep fried something,” and domer.mq is reminded that he really, deep down, resents the ever living hell out of humanity.
And then domer.mq sees this, and everything’s all good.
The Roundup:
By the by, if you see something on the internets that you feel should be shared with our massive audience, feel free to send it along to the e-mail address over on the right. Ditto if you want to nominate a BOTW.
So much for all the Michigan (sucks!) fans that say that ND’s business school curriculum is the same as “General Studies” at UM. (Yep, you guys are right, Calculus doesn’t matter).
ND’s Mendoza School of Business is ranked 3rd best business school in the country for undergrads.
Suck it!
You’ve already read this on every other sports website in the world. I just wanted to use the headline even though it’s completely inaccurate. Apparently the cop hit Pete. And not with an asp. Asps, by the way, have to be the greatest personal security device ever invented. The fact that Ben, from Lost, uses an Asp to beat the crap out of his enemies gives him a +10 in the cool column.
USC coach Pete Carroll said he was involved an auto accident Tuesday night when a Los Angeles County sheriff’s car swerved in front of him and collided with his car in Malibu.
“I was in the fast lane and the cop came from the slow lane and pulled right in front of me to make a U-turn,” Carroll said. “(My car) got hammered.”
I’m disappointed in myself. I had made a promise to myself that I’d only use that headline after Pete’s charged with actually hitting a cop after being pulled over on suspicion of DUI the night following a 38-0 Notre Dame victory over SC. But it seems so likely that Pete will leave for the NFL within the year that I feel the chances of that are about 50-50.
Plus I have a feeling Pete doesn’t drink. He’s probably “too Zen” to drink.
Matt Zemek, blogger for Scout.com, and moral authority to us all, took Notre Dame to task, again, because taking Notre Dame to task is one of the 2 standard ways to ensure a lot of traffic to your “work,” and thus a happy editor/employer. This time, he claims that not only has Notre Dame lost track of its Catholic identity, but Notre Dame is also hurting America. To quote the ignoramus, “The ultimate problem with Notre Dame football has less to do with the institution itself, and much more to do with its violation of fundamental moral principles.” And if I were dumb enough to link to his column, and if you were dumb enough to go read it, this is what you’d see:
So while Zemek is busy blasting ND for hurting America and losing its Catholic Identity, he’s also busy marketing a credit card in the midst of one of the worst credit crisis this nation has ever seen, and a website called “NaughtyOrNice.com,” a matchmaking service that, apparently, is for those who want their sex without all those nasty entanglements like marriage, or, at the very least, commitment, and a video game system that’s helping our already obese society get even sicker while we, as a nation, are in the middle of a health care crisis. I’m surprised there isn’t an advertisement for lawyers who can get dads out of paying child support somewhere on the site. Maybe if I refreshed, there would be a new set of marketing promotions designed to help Zemek with his own Catholic identity or Americans with their morality.
Zemek continues his must-be-drunken rant with doozies like this:
I thought Notre Dame football’s biggest problem all these years was its lack of fidelity to Catholicism. Turns out that the program’s biggest problem was really its use of business methods that have hurt, are hurting, and–if unchecked–will continue to hurt America.
Right. Because “America,” which ND is apparently hurting, is bigger than, “Catholicism,” don’t ya know? This must be true, as Zemek, moral arbiter of Scout.com, spent the first part of his rant establishing that he’s a Catholic, so it must be true.
There’s a bunch of other stuff I could pick apart, like his complete lack of understanding of how a “free market,” actually works, or how investments, like, say, the purchasing of exclusive television rights to ND home games, are made based on forecasting of future performance rather than as a reward for the past. Zemek probably poured all of his money into Wang computers and still thinks it was a great buy. Never mind that after this entire diatribe, Zemek never once points out what team that isn’t already contractually obligated to a television deal via conference affiliation would be more “deserving” of NBC’s investment. I dunno, maybe he had Army in mind.
Anyway, let’s all hope Zemek sleeps well at night, making “money in a sound manner, with integrity and honor.” You know, with those internet banner ads to credit companies and find-sex-now websites that display while he baits people to read his “work.”
I’m not saying he does. But heck, I don’t know that he doesn’t. And based on this piece of trash, I’d guess he does.
So-so? Ho-hum? Give me a freaking break!
The recruiting this year has been slower than last year. Yes, I get that. But coming off a 3-9 season, what do you expect? Charlie and company have been doing a bang-up job this year, and I expect more success as the summer and fall roll on. Ho-hum? LORD. What do you want, Hansen? What’s there not to like about a class that features:
Give me a break Hansen. Calling this class so-so is ludicrous. Calling it small so far? I get. Calling it early? Yes. But calling this collection of recruits so-so is just inaccurate. The staff has done a great job of bringing in quality talent at needed positions. And there’s a whole lot of recruiting to be done yet. A whole lot.
We may not be able to recreate the recruiting from last year. It was arguably the #1 class in the nation, and you certainly can’t have that every single year. But this is shaping up to be Top 10, at least, and could be Top 5. Heck, we could be #1 again, it’s just too early to say.
Who could be upset with those prospects? To me, only someone on the crack. Just say no kids. Just say no.
EDIT: Two fat @$$ pics in a day. HLS on a roll!
While the NCAA Football season still seems depressingly far away, we at HLS have been busy drinking, staring at women on the beach, and hastily cobbling together this year’s edition of The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preaseason Edition. While we’ve elected to save time and our marriages by presenting the HLSTNHT25-PE in a more condensed version from last year’s epic, 27-post thrill-ride, we do feel we’re opting for quality over quantity this time around. Think 3 or 4 Lexuses (Lexi?) rather than 27 Saturns (not that there’s anything wrong with Saturn. I’m now driving a Saturn.).
And so, without much ado in the grand scheme of things, here are a few important notes about the HLSTNHT25-PE:
The method within the madness:
The stated goal of the Loyal Sons, while filling out there ballots was to come up with a close approximation of what we all believe the eventual evil imperial BCS standings will look like at the end of the 2008/2009 season. That was the stated goal. I have no idea if that’s what we’ve actually got because, let’s face it, Biscuit’s a bit of a Maverick. And by that, I mean, Biscuit actually is Tom Cruise. And as we all know, that guy’s a lunatic. So God only knows what we’ve actually got cooked up here.
Now that the ballots have been tabulated, we’re prepared to share the results with the college football fan universe in 4 satisfying installments: “Also Receiving Votes,” “25 through 16,” “15 through 6,” and, wait for it… “The Top 5.” Look for these cleverly named posts to appear at a HLS location convenient to you in the very near future!
Some “fun facts” if “facts” are what you consider “fun,” nerd:
