I’m not sure what will end first, this Dick-Rod-Not-Paying-His-Buyout thing or the Democratic Nomination process, but both have reached rarefied levels of stupidity. While Hillary Clinton is vowing to continue fighting, Dick Rod is claiming he was “coerced” into signing his West Virginia contract.

Former West Virginia football coach Rich Rodriguez says Gov. Joe Manchin and three members of the university’s board of governors pressured him into signing a new contract before the start of the 2007 season, even though it had a $4 million buyout clause he didn’t want.

Let’s take a look at the definition of “coerced.”

Main Entry: co·erce
Pronunciation: kO-’&rs
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): co·erced; co·erc·ing
Etymology: Middle English cohercen, from Anglo-French *cohercer Latin coercEre, from co- + arcEre to shut up, enclose — more at ARK
Date: 15th century
1 : to restrain or dominate by force
2 : to compel to an act or choice
3 : to achieve by force or threat

We’ll leave the first definition out of this. I assume Dick wasn’t restrained or dominated by force. That may be a leap, considering he was in West Virginia, but it’s a prospect I’d just rather ignore. So let’s go with 2 or 3. Dick was either compelled or threatened. To sign a multi-year, multi-million dollar contract to do a job far less important to humanity than about 95% of the jobs that exist in the world.

Here’s how I figure this “coercion” probably went.

Governor Manchin: Sign this contract, Dick.

Dick: No!

Manchin: Do it, or else!

Dick: Or else what?

Manchin: Or else we wont pay you millions of dollars to do a job that, ultimately, falls incredibly low on the totem pole of global importance.

Dick: Well, it looks as though I’ve no choice in the matter!

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