Chris Bell, he of beating-the-crap-out-of-fellow-students fame, has been arrested in an apparent mix-up between threats of violence and a love of huge steak knives.

Former football player Chris Bell was arrested last night after Penn State Police said he threatened another student with an 8-inch blade during a dispute that yielded no injuries in Pollock Dining Commons.

The former Nittany Lion wide receiver is facing charges of terroristic threats, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person, disorderly conduct and harassment.

He is currently being held in the Centre County Correctional Facility in lieu of $50,000 straight bail.

In a public address, Penn State Football Head Coach Joe Paterno said, “Ya know. I don’t see the big deal here. Boys will be boys.” Paterno also noted that Bell is a member of the Home Shopping Network Knife and Fantasy Sword Frequent Buyers Club. “He’s always coming around with a new blade, talking about the tang or something or other,” said Paterno.

When asked why Paterno was giving a public address about an incident involving a player he had previously dismissed from the team, Paterno asked, “what’s this now?”

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