Orson, barely recovered from a fever that would have left lesser men on the dead-cart, covers the Tenuta to ND story with some incredible insider information.

Tenuta: YOU CALL NUMBER ONE TAH-NOO-TAH?

Weis: Yes. We’re looking for a new defensive backs coach, and possibly someone to help give some more bite to our defense. I called around, and your name seemed to come up quite a bit.

Tenuta: HAW HAW HAW TAH-NOO-TAH KNOWN FAR AND WIDE! HIS NAME MAKE PEOPLE PEE AND CRY SAME TIME! HAW HAW HAW!

This is the sort of things Orson comes up with in his head while I’m busy thinking, “Ok! It’s gotta be smart! And it’s gotta be funny! Because people want to laugh! So it’s got to be funny! An no fart jokes this time! Because I promised! And big boys don’t break promises!” And then I seize up in a fit of anxiety and pass out for 15 minutes. Thank God drool washes out.

Orson, congratulations on not being dead yet.

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