December 31, 2007

The HLS New Year Resolutions for 2008

UPDATE: Apparently today it’s 2007. Tomorrow it will be 2008. One full year from then, it will be 2009. Thus I’ve edited the title of this post accordingly.

At the risk of looking like I’ve stolen a totally original idea from Hire Jim Essian, I’ve decided to make a few New Year Resolutions for HLS.

Her Loyal Sons resolve to:

  • Let you know each and every time we hear about Urban Meyer lying to a recruit, putting feelers out in Atlanta, San Francisco, and New York about NFL jobs, or manipulating “discipline” to make sure none of his really good players ever really miss out on important playing time.
  • Win an award. Any award. And if we can’t win an award, then we at HLS will create the Alabama Memorial Award for National Champion Blog and award it to ourselves. Obviously, the trophy for this award will come in the form of “Leg Lamp.”
  • Bad Kermit will finish out the Friday Night Lights episode review series that he started a millennium ago. You readers can thank me, domer.mq, for ensuring that this happens.
  • Biscuit will shout less in his posts.
  • By the start of the 2008 season, domer.mq will complete a new Michigan (sucks!) function on the site so that every time someone writes “Michigan” (sucks!) in a post or a comment, the term “Michigan” (sucks!) will immediately be followed by the term “(sucks!)” thus alleviating the need for posters and commenters to write the term “(sucks!)” every time they write the term “Michigan” (sucks!).
  • The HLS Expert Picks will become automated and may, MAY, even become open to our tens of readers. This will result in a more active community around HLS and more time with the wife for domer.mq. Bow-chicka-bow-bow.
  • Any of the HLS will punch Mark May in the nose if and when we ever meet him. We will then explain that we fully understand that the constant belittling of ND is just something he does because his producers tell him to do. We’ll explain that, being Christians, we forgive him for being so weak that he’ll just do whatever his bosses want him to do. We’ll then punch him in the nose again.
  • We’ll recognize that TheBigLead.com and Deadspin.com have really just become the internet versions of The Best Damned Sports Show Period if The Best Damned Sports Show Period mated with The Man Show and then became a blog.
  • We will not take ourselves too seriously even though we’re clearly the best college football blog with a focus on Notre Dame on the entire internet. As with modesty, a sense of humor becomes us.
  • We’ll continue to call “Lurch” “Lurch” even if he does transfer from Michigan (sucks!) immediately after their bowl game.
  • We’ll lose some weight.

That’s it, really. There’s not much upon which we can improve. When one has essentially maxed out on their potential, what more can be done?

If you’ve got any suggestions, feel free to make them in the comments of this post. In the meantime, let us all give thanks to Rudolph for saving Baby New Year.



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Urban Meyer to NFL Rumors Pick Up Steam

Looks like the rumor that Meyer is interested in coaching in the pros, particularly for the Atlanta Falcons, has picked up steam enough to get noticed by the “real media.” Assuming that “Florida Today” isn’t just some really snazzy blog.

ORLANDO - While there have been some mild whispers that perhaps the Atlanta Falcons would be interested in trying to lure Urban Meyer away from Florida, he stopped that talk before it could get started.

Meyer said after UF’s practice Sunday he hasn’t been contacted by Atlanta. If the Falcons called, would he listen?

“No,” he said. “I’m really happy where I’m at. I’ll give you the Coach 101 speech, but mine is from the heart.”

I wonder if it came from Meyer’s heart when he promised Jevan Snead that he was only recruiting Tim Tebow as a linebacker? You think it’s from the heart when Meyer tells recruits that he’ll be able to start them right away because the guys that already play for him will be academically ineligible?

Meyer will be in the NFL within 2 years. Stone.

(HT: Karl at NDN)

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December 28, 2007

University of Florida: The NCAA Version of the Bengals?

We’re not surprised that Urban Liar Meyer may be headed to the pros.  We’re just surprised that he isn’t headed directly for Cincinnatti.  That shock is reasonable.  After all, if Meyer were to go to the pros, wouldn’t he want to go to the team that defines lack of character?  Wouldn’t he want to go to a program where it seems that half the squad was arrested last year?

Because, after all, that’s the kind of program he runs down there in sunny Gainesville.

UF apologists will point to the school’s pretty co-eds, easy academics and sunny weather as reasons to go there.  All true, and all pretty good things to advertise to 18 year old football player recruits.   But those same people won’t mention that Urban doesn’t care about his kids’ future beyond playing ball.   They are certainly not at UF to learn.  Just 30% of African American players at UF graduate according to the NCAA.   They’re not there to stay out of trouble.  They’re there to do whatever they want, so long as they can put up 6 or blow up an opponent’s screen pass. 

Want facts to back up all this rhetoric?  Fine, just check out the litany of ‘player issues’ below.  Reminds you a bit of the Bengals last year doesn’t it?  Cincy had 13 arrests last yar.  Even though I only have details on 8 arrests below, it looks like there were 12 UF-related arrests in the past 8 months.   Giddeyup!

Arrest 1:  Florida LB Arrested in Parking Garage Brawl

  http://www.gatorzone.com/football/images/bioimg2006/26.jpg

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Florida linebacker Dustin Doe has been charged with fighting in public for his involvement in a large brawl in a downtown Gainesville parking garage.

Police responded to the scene at 2:25 a.m. Sunday, and Doe was observed fighting in a group of 20 or more people. Doe and two others, Raymond Leonard Smoaks and Jeffrey Brown, were arrested, according to police reports.

When police approached the scene, Doe turned away to leave the area, according to a report.

Doe was arrested and charged with fighting in public, a misdemeanor. He did not answer a telephone call Monday seeking comment.

Doe is scheduled to start this year for the Gators. He played in every game in 2006 in a reserve role.

Arrest 2:  Ronnie Wilson Fires AK-47 During Argument

(Biscuit Edit:  FREAKING AK - 47!!!!!  These ‘college players’ are strapped with assault weapons and are somehow called students.  This is madness.)
http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/8626/ronniewilsonpv9.jpg
By Lise Fisher
Sun staff writer
4-5-07

Universityof Florida top offensive lineman Ronnie Matthew Wilson was arrested early Thursday on charges of aggravated assault, simple battery and useor display of a concealed weapon during the commission of a felony, aGainesville Police arrest report stated.

Police accused Wilson, 19, of shooting a semi-automatic rifle after a dispute with another man, according to the report.

Wilson later told police he took the rifle out of his trunk and fired one shot into the air because he wanted the other man “to know how it felt to be scared,” the report stated.

Wilson was being held at the Alachua County jail pending a first court appearance.

  

Arrest 3:  Student Accuses UF Football Player of Robbery


4/23/07

By MIKE MCCALL
Alligator Writer

Five UF football players were involved in a confrontation at a weekend party, according to a Gainesville Police Department report.

The players, identified on the scene as scholarship football athletes by a UF student, were involved in a robbery at a party at Cabana Beach Apartments on Saturday.

The players have not been named bypolice, and UF coach Urban Meyer has yet to confirm that they are football players, the report states.

On Saturday, a UF student was taking kegs out of his truck when the men approached him. One 6-foot-4, 280-pound man attempted to steal his keg, cutting his neck in the process, according to the report. The cut was 5 to 6 inches long, the report states, and it appeared to be the result of a finger nail or ring.

The other four players on the scene restrained the attacker, who then broke away and assaulted the student again, slamming him into his truck, according to the report.

After the second attack, the players forced the attacker into a red Ford Taurus and began to leave the scene, the report states.

While the car was still moving, the attacker again tried to run at the victim, but was stopped by his teammates, who likely prevented a third attack,according to the report.

Several more players were at the party, but were not involved in the incident, the report states.

The incident is the third this month involving a UF football player.

Earlier, linebacker Dustin Doe was charged with fighting in public.

Offensive lineman Ronnie Wilson received felony charges of aggravated assault andt he use, display or concealment of a weapon or firearm.

Saturday’s incident is not the first involving UF players and kegs.

Two years ago, linebacker Taurean Charles was dismissed from the team following another keg-related incident.

He was charged after throwing a keg at a UF student.

Arrest 4:  Florida DB Munroe Charged with Theft

By ANDY STAPLES The Tampa Tribune

Published: May 29, 2007

        The image “http://www.gatorzone.com/football/images/bioimg2005/Munroe_Dorian.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

DESTIN— University of Florida safety Dorian Munroe was arrested last week and charged with theft after Munroe admitted to a UF police officer that he had removed a UPD ”boot” from one of his tires and placed it in his trunk.

Munroe was charged with a third-degree felony, according to a police report, because the boot was valued at $385. UF’s police department places the boots on vehicles whose owners either have three or more outstanding parking tickets or five guilty citations within a year.

According to the report, Munroe was called to UPD headquarters on May 22. There, according to the report, Munroe told officer Brian Boydthat he had taken the boot off his 1987 Mercedes. The boot was removed from Munroe’s trunk, and Munroe was arrested and transported to Alachua County jail. He was released Wednesday.

UF athletic department spokesman Steve McClain said Tuesday that Gators coach Urban Meyer is aware of the incident and that there is an internal process in place to handle such matters. Munroe, a rising sophomore from Miami, is expected to compete for significant playing time this season.

Arrest 5:  UF Football Player/Hoops Player Arrested on Drug Charges

Alachua County
POWELL, BRANDON CHARLES ASO07MNI005526 FA 06/12/2007

JAMES, BRANDON K ASO07MNI005525 FA 06/12/2007
http://www.orangeandbluehue.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/brandon-james-mugshot.jpg

By Lise Fisher
Sun staff writer   

Two University of Florida athletes, one a basketball player and another a football player, were arrested overnight by Gainesville Police on allegations of drug possession, jail records showed.

Brandon Charles Powell and Brandon K. James, both 19, were being held at the Alachua County jail on charges of purchase and possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana, according to court records.

Powell was a freshman last year with the college’s basketball team, while James was a freshman who played a major role in the 2006 national championship football team as a kickoff and punt returner.

     

Arrest 6:  Former UF Receiver Faces Multiple Charges

By Jonathan Okanes

Cal wide receiver Nyan Boateng was arrested in Gainesville, Fla., last week and was charged with burglary residence, battery and criminal mischief.

According to Gainesville police Sgt. Chuck Reddick, Boateng attempted to enter the home of his former girlfriend early Thursday morning. When she refused to let him in, Boateng kicked in the door and entered anyway.

Boateng, a transfer from the University of Florida, is scheduled to sit out this season because of NCAA transfer rules. He will be a junior in 2008 and have two years of eligibility remaining.

Boateng was a football and basketball star at Lincoln High School in Brooklyn, N.Y., where he was basketball teammates with the NBA’s Sebastian Telfair. Boateng played one season at Florida, catching two passes for 44 yards as a freshman.

“We’re aware there was an incident in Florida and we’re gathering all the information we can,” Cal athletic spokesman John Sudsbury said.

Boateng worked out with Cal during the spring and looked like a potential star. With junior wide receiver DeSean Jackson possibly leaving for the NFL after this season, Boateng could be a perfect fit to fill in.

The burglary charge is a felony while the other two are misdemeanors. A court date is pending.
    
Arrest 7:  Gator Player Charged with Burglary
The image “http://www.globalsportsbuzz.com/assets/joiner.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
By Karen Voyles
A senior on the University of Florida football team was arrested early Tuesday and charged with burglary according to Gainesville  Police.
Earl A. “Tony” Joiner, 21, was arrested at 4:59 a.m. outside the fenced impound lot of Watson’s Towing at 516 SW 1st St. 

Senior defensive back Earl A. “Tony” Joiner, 21, was arrested at 4:59 a.m. outside the fenced impound lot of Watson’s Towing at 516 SW 1st St.

Joiner, who is 6 feet tall and weighs 194 pounds, was accused of pushing a heavy electric gate open to enter the lot in an attempt to retrieve his girlfriend’s car which was being held in lieu of a $76 towing bill, according to police reports.

According to Gainesville Police, witnesses said a man pushed open the gate at 4:30 a.m., got into a car, drove the car out of the lot and was trying to close the gate when he was confronted by one of two witnesses. The witness said the man drove the car back into the lot and waited for officers to arrive.

The officer who arrested Joiner, Robert Concannon, noted in the arrest report that Joiner was on a phone talking to someone when Concannon walked up to Joiner. Concannon said he heard Joiner talking into the phone and saying, “I am probably about to go to jail ‘cuz I did push the gate open.”

    
Arrest 8:  Cunningham and Demps Arrested on Burglary Charges
By:  Lindsay Jones

Starting defensive end Jermaine Cunningham was arrested early Wednesday morning on a misdemeanor battery charge after reportedly causing a disturbance at an sandwich shop near campus.

According to a Gainesville Police report, Cunningham and former Gator linebacker Jon Demps got into an argument with an employee at Jimmy John’s Gourmet Sandwich shop, located on University Avenue. When the employee reportedly told Cunningham and Demps they had to pay for a bag of potato chips, Cunningham and Demps became “verbally abusive” and began throwing items, including empty soda cups and a sandwich, at the employee.

Cunningham and Demps left the store, and were arrested on campus at 2:49 a.m.

According to records from the Alachua County Jail, he was booked at 3:56 a.m. and was still at the jail at 10:30 a.m.

cunningham.jpg

Cunningham, a sophomore who has started every game this season, is third on the team with 62 tackles (34 solo). He has 6.5 sacks and 11 tackles for a loss.

Former LSU wide receiver Xavier Carter was also arrested after the incident on a misdemeanor charge of resisting arrest, according to a GPD report. Carter, who left LSU to run professionally, recently moved to Gainesville to begin training with UF track coach Mike Holloway.

Carter was reportedly with Cunningham and Demps on University Ave. after the incident at Jimmy John’s, but ran from police when Cunningham and Demps were arrested.

 

These arrests range from the insanely criminal (AK-47’s anyone?) to the stupid (who STEALS a car boot rather than pay a parking ticket?) to the typically-meat-headed (yeah, let’s start whipping cups and condiments at this tool who is insisting on CHARGING US 99 cents for these chips!!!!).   But regardless, Urban doesn’t have control of his players or his program.  And that spells trouble for some of these kids.  Trouble they don’t need if they want to succeed in college, the pros, and after/instead of the pros (e.g. the ‘real world’). 

If I’m a recruit, I think twice about UF.  If I’m a player’s parent, I think 30 times.   As a player, I am just as likely to end up in jail as I am the starting lineup.  And if I’m African American and don’t go pro?  I have just a 30% chance of graduating (in sports management or phys-ed most likely).  Wow.  Questionable outcomes at best.

UF has been doing well on the field lately.  Urban can coach and recruit.  But he doesn’t build anything other than winners now.  He doesn’t build character, and he’s not getting these kids ready for any future, beyond those very few that will go pro and play more than just 1 or 2 years. 

Kids, just say no to Urban Liar.  Unless you’re thinking about a career with your local SWAT team, that is.  Great target practice down there at UF!

 

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December 21, 2007

Yard Sale!!!

 

 Well, Michigan fans got their ‘great’ hire. 

And he fired everyone on the staff.

Guess you get what you ask for.  I wonder how much this will affect this year’s recruiting?  And unless Dicky Rod brings back a few guys in re-hires, or at least brings in a few ex-Michigan guys, how much they’ll ‘get’ Michigan (meaning, understanding how much the school sucks).  2 days ago everyone was proclaiming their desire to crawl up into bed with RR and propose marriage. Now, they’re upset that he cleaned house. 

Seems like UM fans are about as loyal as RR.  A match made in…Ann Arbor.

PS - the point isn’t that RR shouldnt have done this.  If I were him, I would’ve.  The point is that it’s funny how much UM fans are whining about it.  And to get the picture above on our site.

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December 19, 2007

Does Urban Meyer Want To Go Pro?

UPDATE 3: Apparently there are rumors that Urb doesn’t get along real well with the Florida Athletic Director.

UPDATE 2: Apparently Urb has a huge buyout in his contract if he wants to take another college job, but there’s no buyout at all, meaning it would cost him nothing, if he wants to take an NFL job. Interesting way to get a contract written for someone who doesn’t want to be “upwardly mobile.” In contrast, Charlie Weis’ buyout is huge for both college and pro jobs. Charlie had that done to end rumors created by other coaches (supposedly Urb being one of them) that Weis would leave for the NFL if given the chance.

UPDATE: The AJC is reporting that Bill Parcells will likely accept a job as head of football operations for the Falcons. Which is sort of interesting with the Urban rumor. Urb’s not part of the “Parcells Tree,” I don’t think, but I do know that Urban has talked with Bill Belichick in the past, having Bill down to UF and also visiting the Pats himself. Now, Belichick and Parcells are rumored to not be all that warm with each other any more, but there is some form of a connection to the “Parcells Tree” in that way at the least.

******************************

Totally unverified rumor of the day: Urban Meyer wants to try his wares out on the pro circuit.

We don’t get a lot of “tips,” except when we dance at the Cheetah, but those are the sort of tips that support various habits. The tip we got this morning is of the sort that wont support anything, sort of like your no good drunk father. Christmas is canceled this year, kids! Again! Anyway, the word is that Urban has a select few NFL teams he’d like to coach, and the Atlanta Falcons happen to be one of them. So this week some feelers originating from Florida have been poking around Hotlanta. Talk about a coaching carousel! Does Urban even know that Mike Vick, who would probably be the best QB in Urb’s spread offense ever, is now in prison? Can Joey Harrington run the spread? Is Joey Harrington even on the Falcons? Is he still playing QB in the NFL? I have no idea. I just think this is an interesting rumor.

What will Urb say about this rumor? And should we believe him? He’s not exactly the most honest guy this side of the Mississippi.



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December 17, 2007

Michigan (sucks!) Gets Its Mercenary

Dear Michigan,

You suck. But we’ve covered that countless times. No doubt you understand you suck much like everyone’s fat cousin that always sits at the singles table at weddings is well aware that they will be alone for their entire lives. But at least those cousins have cats. Cats make fat, lonely people feel better. What do you have, Michigan?

You’ve got a new coach. For now, anyway. It took 26 days to find the guy. Care to guess what sort of multiple of 26 days will equal his tenure at Michigan (sucks!)? See, you just bought a coach that is the sort of person that could walk away from the position of Head Coach, Football for his alma mater (a D1 school to boot) because of “an offer he couldn’t refuse.” What offer? 2.5 million a year? That’s not really top-tier pay. Heck, Saban makes 4, and he’s already looking around. Petrino makes nearly 3! So let’s say Richie Rich does really well in Ann Arbor. You gonna bounce that salary up to 3.5-4 next year? If not, who’s going to make Richie the next offer he can’t refuse?

I’m betting Rich is on his way to “bigger and better” things within 5 years. That, or he’s fired by then. He’ll either be hugely successful, and the pros will take notice, or, heck, some college program with looser purse strings will notice, or he’ll lose to ND and Ohio State so often that he’ll be burned in effigy by 2012.

Congratulations on that “A-List Hire.” I’m sure Ryan Mallet is already absorbing the new run-oriented playbook with vigor.

domer.mq
HerLoyalSons.com

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And We Give You…

Oldie.  His work remains unparalleled.

Though honest and all-encompassing, it shows we’re still ND.  We have pride, promise and prospects.  (alliteration rules!)  September can’t get here fast enough.

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December 15, 2007

Trevor Robinson on ND: Boo-ya-ka!

He’s in.  After a long and sometimes tumultuous recruitment, all-universe offensive lineman Trevor Robinson has committed to Notre Dame.  (Shout out to John on the Shout Boxx for the tip). 

Irish Roundup has a great run-down chalk-full of a ton of links on the story.  So head over there and check them out. 

All I can say is that this is good stuff.  Good, good stuff.  I mean, this is RECRUITING INSANITY, and this class is going to be legendary at Notre Dame.  LEGEND-ARY.

And also, I will say that if I were to see Trevor, I would probably shake his hand.  And I would probably smile and say some combination of the following words:  Stud, Awesome, Family, You, A, To, Welcome, Are, The, Notre Dame.

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