Llloyd Carr is a Quitter

After 13 years in Ann Arbor, Llloyd Carr is withdrawing early and running like hell.

Lots of talk will circulate, as it already has, about Les Miles taking Llloyd’s place, but frankly we at HLS can’t imagine why anyone would want to take this job, in the middle of such a nightmare scenario. As Llloyd Carr has proven over the course of 13 years, you can’t do much more than kinda, sorta win half a national title and a few conference titles in an extremely mediocre conference.

Little known fact: Before Llloyd began coaching at Michigan (sucks!), his nickname was “Sunshine.”

Carr, seen here, turning his back on his players

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  • http://www.improvements.com The Biscuit

    Unless Michigan wants to wait for a coach to come on board after the Nat’l Championship game in January, they will not be hiring Miles. Plus, they’d have to be REALLY sure that he’d actually come on board, cuz he could always decide after (potentially winning) a national championship game if he would really want to leave. And waiting that long will have a ton of impact on recruiting (as we all know too well from Charlie’s transition). In the end, I doubt Les or UM will wait that long.

  • domer.mq

    Plus, Les apparently had a clause in his LSU contract that guarantees him the highest salary in D1 football if he wins a NC. So Les will likely stick around LSU to see how that works out.

  • DeepTeaKup

    Guys, I think that Martin will do the right things during this search but he will not panic to hire a coach by some artifical January deadline. The loss of a few recruits can not dictate hiring an inferior coach.

    As far as Miles goes, there is a lot to indicate that he will take the job if offered: he is an alum, his wife used to coach b-ball there, and he really has no ties to LSU.

    domer, I’m pretty sure the clause just says he has to be in the top 3 but either way money will not be an obstacle for this hire. I don’t think they’ll overpay like Bama (or ND :) ) did, but Martin knows he has to pay market value for this coach. And as we all know from the Addidas contract, he can be a shrewd negotiator.

    If you ask me (and I know you didn’t), it’s going to be an interestign 7 weeks or so, lots of specualtion, losing a few recruits, some interesting names will emerge (Gruden maybe?), but in the end it will be Miles.

  • Write-in Colbert!

    “As Llloyd [sic] Carr has proven over the course of 13 years, you can’t do much more than kinda, sorta win half a national title and a few conference titles in an extremely mediocre conference.”

    National titles, bowl victories…Please tell us what Notre Dame has done over the past 13 years…that’s what I thought!

  • http://www.ndeatspoopoo.com Ha Ha Brown

    I know what they have done- Lost 1,000 bowl games in a row. You guys are a joke, the most pathetic football team in the country this year. Charlie Weis ate your season you muppets.

    Oh and by the way I upperdecked the sh!t out of your bathroom at the stadium during the ’06 Michigan game. It was in the third quarter in the visiting endzone. My turd is probably still in the topper

  • Big Worm

    I would think a 1-win season and a terrible coach with a $20+ million buyout is the real “nightmare scenario,” but then I didn’t go to Notre Dame and am therefore not a complete fool.

  • Are You Joking?

    You guys at HLS should open a book, namely the NCAA records book, and look at Lloyd’s performance numbers compared to the coaches at Notre Dame.

    I think he beat the hell out of you in performance.

    Nice royal We though. Makes you seem almost smart.

  • Ben

    Wow. Hilarious.

    I think Brian said it best:

    “Michigan in the Carr era: 121-40, one national championship, two BCS bowl wins, five conference titles, five bowl wins, no losing seasons. Notre Dame over that same span of time: 94-62, no national championships, no bowl wins, four losing seasons. Michigan’s ‘nightmare scenario’ — 8-4 — is better than Notre Dame has done 6 of the past 11 years.”

  • Are You Joking?

    Besides, I think he went 5-4 against Notre Dame. I think that’s better than .500 if my math serves me.

  • basil

    Yeah, but good win over Duke. Oh wait, it was in football? Never mind.

    For real, domers, dream about the glorious return to 8-4 seasons, because it ain’t gonna happen under Jabba.

  • Gnarls Woodson

    Yes, as opposed to Notre Dame, which has dominated the college football landscape over the past 13 years with its numerous national titles and consistent bowl victories.

    What’s that you say? Notre Dame is 2-9 this season? And has multiple losing seasons over the past decade? Wait…I’m so confused. Sigh…if only Lloyd could have been as good a coach as Charlie Weis (1-2 against Lloyd).

  • Wolvrine32

    Those are pretty smarmy words from a program we’ve beaten 38-0, 47-21 and 38-0 recently. Not to mention who is currently 2-9 and hasn’t won a bowl game in 13 years.

    Aren’t Catholics supposed to be humble? Particularly when you have good reason to BE humble?

  • Chris

    Yep, going to a bowl game every year for the past 36 some odd years sure is a “nightmare”. Worst record over that time: 6-6.

    When is the last time ND even did well against our “mediocre conference?” I know that the BT sure can’t keep up with the likes of Army and Navy, but it sure seems to me that ND has a rough time beating most BT opponents. By the way, thank you ND for not joining the BT, how much worse would it be with your brilliant 2-9 record in there fighting with Minnesota for the spot in the basement?

  • http://www.improvements.com The Biscuit

    Fellas, I think you should calm down. What wasn’t accurate in that post? The ‘mediocre conference’ part? How are you going to deny that? tOSU has been the only consistently good team as of late. It’s a mediocre conference.
    You won half a nat’l championship, yes, this was acknowledged. Half, meaning ‘kinda sorta’. That’s accurate as well.
    Is it that you are freaking out now that the guy you’ve all wanted fired for years is actually gone? Afraid of what might happen? Tell me who you’ll bring in that will be better. Miles is your only hope – if he turns it down, where do you go next? You have a decent recruiting class (which is nothing compared to the top schools’ classes – including ND) that will be getting worse soon as Illinois is about to steal all those recruits, you can’t beat tOSU to save your lives…what isn’t nightmare about that scenario?
    Sling all the mud you want about this season – we suck this year, we know. We can take it. But I wouldnt talk too too much about Bowl Victories…your skunk bears are doing their best to catch up to ND in bowl futility with your recent winless streak. If you were even somewhat decent in bowls in the past 5 years I’d give you a pass there, but you can’t talk trash when you suck post-season as well.

  • Robocoach

    This is unquestionably the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. Have you looked at what’s on your sideline lately? And what was YOUR record against that “mediocre conference” this year? It’s crap like this that makes kicking your butt every year fun for literally EVERYONE!!!!!

  • domer.mq

    What I did on Thanksgiving Break: Went Fishing.

    What I caught: Just a bunch of wound-up skunkbear.

  • GoBlue Alum

    If a National Championship, 5 conference titles, 5 bowl wins, and a winning percentage that says you win more than 3 games out of every 4 you play is considered a “nightmare scenario”, is there even a phrase to describe how bad Notre Dame has been over the same time period? How about “complete and utter abomination to the sport of football as we know it”? No, actually, even that falls short.

    You can hate Michigan all you want. Hey, its college football; that’s what rivals are supposed to do. But suggesting that Lloyd Carr’s tenure at Michigan wasn’t anything short of a success lets everyone know that you’re completely blinded by your bias and know as much about college football as an infant. Show some respect.

    People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

  • domer.mq

    GoBlue Alum,

    I reserve respect for programs that deserve it. Programs that use African American athletes like leased cars and then forget about them when it’s time to actually get an education don’t qualify.

  • http://www.yourmother.com The Biscuit

    You foolish little UM alums/fans. Since when does logic require that my team has to be good to point out that yours is bad? Or vice versa. Look, we’re saying that Mr. Carr had a mediocre career. We didn’t say that during that time ND had a better record, more success or anything of the sort. And since YOUR fans have been clamoring for Carr’s firing FOR YEARS, why are you complaining that we’re pointing out the same things you’ve pointed out for years now? Are you all of a sudden loyal to the man? NOW you like him? Or did you not really mean it when you clamored for his firing constantly over the past few years? Which is it? Make up your mind skunk bears – you can’t have it both ways.

  • GoBlue Alum

    Hmm, maybe you’re right domer.mq. I guess programs that give African-American head coaches less of a chance than they give their white counterparts (despite posting a superior record in the same amount of time) should be held in a MUCH higher regard.

    When it comes to race relations and diversity, I don’t think Notre Dame has any place talking about Michigan. Let’s be real here. Notre Dame is as white as a lily and the entire school couldn’t care less about admitting black students unless they can run fast or jump high.

  • domer.mq

    Yeah, I really was impressed when Ty took ND to those 2 BCS bowls in his first 2 years. Oh, no, sorry, that wasn’t Ty. That was Weis. And hey! It’s was apparently Weis recruiting top 10 classes over and over and over again while it was Ty that spent the offseasons on the golf course. I get confused about that all the time. I guess it’s because we kept paying Ty his contract money after he left ND, because that’s what you’re supposed to do to “honor a contract.”

    You should really actually visit ND sometime. It’s not 1963 anymore. You might learn something too, like what it looks like when you actually educate and graduate your athletes, regardless of race.

  • ai

    Great Job against that powerhouse Duke last weekend. 2-9 now? We’re all very proud, especially all the executives on NBC.

  • http://www.yourmother.com The Biscuit

    Better than the execs in the Big Ten network…

  • ai

    when is the last time your team won a bowl game? Or against “rival”, if you want to call it that, USC? Or against any winning team?

  • ai

    those who live in glass houses (and yours is very thin glass) should not throw stones.

  • ai

    It was FUCKIN’ DUKE Biscuit. Period.

  • ai

    Michigan taught ND how to play football. In 1887 its team introduced the game to students at Notre Dame. Bitch.

  • domer.mq

    hey, ai, what has Michigan done lately? 0-2? I bet you guys would kill for a Duke, maybe then you could send Llloyd out a winner.

  • ai

    you are 2-9. you lost to teams you hadn’t lost to since WWII. This really isn’t the year to talk shit.

  • domer.mq

    “Michigan taught ND how to play football. In 1887 its team introduced the game to students at Notre Dame.”

    And that, ladies and gents, was the last time Michigan taught any actual “student athletes” anything at all.

  • http://www.yourmother.com The Biscuit

    yes, we beat duke. i fail to see the point. how does that have anything to do with our post making fun of UM’s coach quitting and saying he had a mediocre career? in what world does this have anything to do with ND beating Duke? period. it is difficult to deal with people that have no sense of logic. i bet you all were yelling at your TV, screaming for Carr’s firing earlier this year – but you’re defending him now? hypocrisy at its greatest! (hyposcrisy means you say one thing, then act another way – or vice versa).

  • domer.mq

    Oh ai, you poor, stupid kid.

    WW2 didn’t last until the 60s. Were you a football player for Michigan?

  • http://www.yourmother.com The Biscuit

    ai – you kill me. who’s talking trash? we didnt say we beat you or that our team was better than yours (the definition of talking trash). we mocked your coach on his way out the door. this has nothing to do with records or who beat who. get some perspective man, seriously. i applaud your use of expletives though (that means swear words), it makes you look so much more intelligent. (smart)

  • ai

    i mean you lost to us this year. seriously…this is the lamest post i’ve ever seen. if charlie weis had died on the operating table your team might have eeked out a couple more wins out of sheer win one for the gipper mentality

  • Pluto

    People who live in glasses houses…

    The last time Jabba missed his midnight snack (at least 15 years ago if I accurately counted his chins), Notre Shame was still a disgrace. It’s a joke of a school whose deluded student body wishes their institution was half as good as Michigan.

  • ai

    i’m half-heartedly glad he retired. My point is your team is so god awful i can’t see any basis to talk shit.

    you arguably have the worst team outside of Temple in Div. I this year.

  • http://www.yourmother.com The Biscuit

    yes, we lost to Michigan this year. so that means we can’t comment on the fact that Carr quit? again, your logic is abysmal (bad). tell me honestly, did you want Carr fired over the past 3 years? I am 99% sure you did. Now you want to defend him? Why? Because you like him so much? Then WHY did you want him fired? You’re lack of mental capacity (that means your ability to think) is groundbreakingly difficult to work with…

  • domer.mq

    I’m loving all these skunkbears latching onto the “glass houses” idea. It’s like you all read it the first time it was used in a comment on this post and were like, “ooh! That’s biblical, right? That’ll shut them up!”

    I’m confused, are you skunkbears or lemmings?

  • ai

    I eat my boogers.

  • http://www.yourmother.com The Biscuit

    look, you need some education. i assume you went to Michigan so you haven’t had much of that yet. maybe hit up some community college classes, though they may be too difficult for you. this is the definition of talking trash: “my team is better than yours. your team sucks, mine is good.” okay, we have that established. we didn’t say anything like that in the post. we said: “Carr quit. he didn’t have great success (which is why all you UM fans wanted him fired). it will be tough to find a replacement given 1) les miles’ situation 2) UM’s difficulty winning in a mediocre conference.” That is commentary, not talking trash. Figure it out.

  • ai

    I’ve never kissed a girl.

    I also don’t know what “impersonation” means.

  • ai

    I’m a tiny man.

  • http://www.yourmother.com The Biscuit

    good! good boy, THAT is talking trash. you’re figuring it out. let me know where to mail the cookie you’ve earned. or do you want a gold star sticker instead? it’s your pick. ugh, conversing with UM people is tiring.

  • ai


    (1) Michigan Will beat ND next year.
    (2) attacking the educational standards of Michigan is seriously ridiculous, w/o the need to point out who blew the US new and world reports the hardest
    (3) Michigan’s next coach will be quite capable.

    thanks for clearing it all up Biscuit. This is commentary, not argument.

    It’s also Ironic, I know you know what that is, that you comment on Michigan’s “mediocrity” when your team won’t sniff a win, just a win, for a very long time. Commentary.

  • ai

    and yes i did go to michigan.
    my brother went to ND.

    I’m a lawyer, he works in Russia, enough said.

  • Pluto

    Lemmings? Lemmings? Stand, chant, sit. Stand, chant, sit. Bow to the mighty carpenter!!!

  • domer.mq

    Commentary: Michigan doesn’t care about graduating their players. They just want to use them in order to generate revenue from the football program. This has nothing to do with Michigan’s educational standards, as Michigan is actually a very good school, so long as you aren’t an African American student athlete. As a result, it has nothing to do with measurement of academics. It has everything to do with morals and denial.

  • domer.mq

    ai, you’re a lawyer? You should retire. You aren’t very good at stating your case.

  • Pluto

    Wait. Wait. Did you really just write that Michigan isn’t a good school if you’re an African American athelete. How is this logical? Good mythical man are you stupid.

  • domer.mq


    The stats show. Michigan is a good school. If you have a degree from Michigan, it’s a good degree. If you were ever an African American athlete at Michigan, you probably don’t have a degree from Michigan, so what good does Michigan’s academic standing do for you?

  • http://www.improvements.com The Biscuit

    That’s better ai. I can talk to that.

    1) We will see. I think it will be a good game.
    2) It is not ridiculous at all when you are a UM grad and making statements that make that education look worthless.
    3) Maybe, if it’s Les Miles.

    Does sniffing a win mean having a recent win? If so, you’re already wrong. We won 3 days ago.

  • HH

    Ah, you silly Domers. Still in denial over the sh!tstorm your program is mired in. If chubby charlie was half the coach Carr has been, you guys would have “sniffed” a bowl win sometime this century.

  • http://www.improvements.com The Biscuit

    Ugh, HH. For the record, we’re not in denial. We fully comprehend it and understand it. But I’m not going to go through the lesson in logic again. Talk to ai. I give him a 3% chance of getting it right.

  • http://www.ndeatspoopoo.com Ha Ha Brown

    I didn’t go to Michigan, but i did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. And I also upperdecked your garbage stadium.

    But anyway you don’t have to go to Michigan to know that Notre Dame is a complete joke of a program, and their fans are the most delusional fans on the planet.

    Domer you are a fluffer

  • Taco

    Haha.. Hey fellow Wolverines .. Did you see the right sidebar.. these two nerds have a blog which has 2 readers – themselves… This is an obvious “write bad about some program.. increase traffic” thing.

    Why don’t you all just ignore these dolts.

    BTW, is this satire ?

    OK Let me try to restate in a different way :
    “What if you had a head-coach with a record like Carr in the last 10 years? Would you say he was mediocre?”

    * Carr wasn’t mediocre.
    * Yes, 8-4 is horrible at Michigan. We’ve never seen a 2-9.
    * Do you now know why rest of the College football hates you ?

  • domer.mq

    How incredibly appropriate is it that the Michigan representatives in these comments have taken pride in their body waste?

  • http://www.ndeatspoopoo.com Ha Ha Brown

    Im not a Michigan fan, domer.mq- I just eat my own poo.

  • http://www.improvements.com The Biscuit

    Taco, you represent all that is great about Michigan fans in a single post.

    1 – you say carr wasn’t mediocre
    2 – then you say that 8-4 is horrible, with carr as head coach.

    So he’s not mediocre, he’s horrible? If that’s what you’re saying, shouldn’t you be applauding the post, or telling us that we’re being too soft on him?

  • domer.mq

    Hey Ha Ha,

    Happen to notice we don’t have advertising on the site? Why would I care about any Michigan fans reading the site?

    You know that funny smirk most people have on their face when they’re dealing with you in person? Picture me with that same smirk right now.

  • Taco

    Let me guess.. You guys masturbate to Ann Coulter.? Your post is Ann Coulter-esque.

    You don’t have respect for a rival coach who has a winning record against you. You are 2-9 with a pathetic offense but you still have the gall to talk trash about a program whose record in the last ~10 years ( Carr’s era ) is a dream scenario for you.

    You must post to NDNation regularly ?! Even Buckeyes had glowing words for the outgoing Carr.
    If I had a 2-9 record I’d just STFU and start posting crap like these when I have the record to back it up.

  • domer.mq


    You might want to picture me smirking at you in the same way I’m smirking at Ha Ha. Maybe you guys are brothers and you get that all the time.

  • http://www.improvements.com The Biscuit

    Who said anything about respect? Where do you guys come up with this stuff? Soon you’ll start saying we questioned his heterosexuality and outed him to the world.

    I have never once posted on NDN.

    I covered off the definition of trash talking with ai earlier – please contact him for the same lesson. This is not trash-talking.

    And if I were a Buckeye fan, I’d sing Carr’s praises forever. The dude couldn’t beat them to save his life, or job.

    And don’t tell me you weren’t calling for his head all year Taco meat. You know you were – one of the many (all?) UM fans that are completely hypocritical on this topic.

  • http://www.ndisawesome.com Ha Ha Brown

    ND is really a great program, and will probably win a NC very soon. Weis is already taking some great steps to fix the problems. Just look at the amazing resources he can utilize.

    Weis confirmed Sunday he would solicit off-season suggestions and criticism from the New England Patriots, his previous employer and current powerhouse of the NFL. “I think I’ve probably made several mistakes this year” Weis said. “The ones who know my system the best are New England, and I think those guys would have no problem telling me what things I did right and what things I did wrong.”

  • basil

    Please domers. What you call medicority at Michigan is in fact a dream for the Fighting Irish. But keep dreaming, you won’t get to 8 wins for another decade. Maybe if you add all of Jimmy Clausen’s victories by the end of his career he will equal one truly horrible season at Michigan.

    And yes, I understand that you were not talking about the quality of ND football in the original post. But I am talking about it now. How does it feel to truly suck, to get whooped by middling to bad teams in an “extremely mediocre” conference? How was losing to Purdue? Michigan State? Navy? Good times? Enjoy getting beat by Stanford, too.

    All those top 10 recruiting classes Jabba has strung together…yeah, those players sure look great on the field. Good luck with them. (Picture the smirk on my face knowing that you are putting your hopes into recruiting rankings!).

    Michigan won the Big Ten in 2000, 2003, 2004. How is that not winning in the Big Ten?

  • Taco

    OK.. I read the rest of your posts and I won’t comment here anymore.

    When it comes to ND blogs, there’s BGS … and the rest is shit.

  • domer.mq


    Thanks. That’s the best news I’ve read all day.

    But seriously, I really am smirking at you and Brian Cook for linking to us. I dunno, maybe he just wanted to share some of the hell that is the Michigan internet fanbase with us. I hope he never wants to share again.


    This year has sucked as an ND fan. That’s never going to stop us from laughing at Carr or skunkbears. Or, for that matter, you.

  • GoBlue Alum

    I couldn’t get into ND.

  • D-Man

    God Bless the Fighting Irish. They’re a shining light among College Football.

  • http://hls Julian

    What do Michigan and Notre Dame students have in common?

    They were all accepted by Michigan.

  • http://hirejimessian.com Bad Kermit

    To sum up:

    1. Michigan fans poop in toilet tanks.
    2. God doesn’t exist; Catholics are lemmings.
    3. It’s worse to lose to Navy than Appalachian State.
    4. Charlie Weis is fat.

    Yep. That was worth the 5 minutes it took me to read (or the hour and a half it took Brian Cook).

  • Mike Hart

    i’m still a virgin

  • B

    I’m an incredibly bitter, small minded person.