The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Week 7: Mob rule.
Bad Kermit
Well, it’s official. The polls are completely meaningless now. I can tell, because domer.mq has given me the power to do the Top 25 for this week. I don’t believe in curses and hyperbole, but the #1 slot clearly has been CURSED WITH A CURSE MORE HORRIBLE THAN ANY CURSE WHICH HAS EVER BEEN CAST UPON ANY CURSED THING EVER. With that in mind, here is your Top 25:
1. Boston College. Have fun losing to Virginia Tech on the 25th, Massholes.
2. The instant replay rule.
3. This guy. 
4. NCAA Football 2005.
5. Watching Urban Meyer lose.
6. Watching Pete Carroll lose.
7. Watching Lloyd Carr decay.
8. Charlie Weis’ FUPA.
9. “You Can Call Me Al.” Why don’t you play it any more, ND band?
10. The ongoing Reggie Bush investigation.
11. Oregon outfit combination #127.
12. Cheerleaders. 
13. The BCS supercomputer becoming sentient.
14. Lee Corso demonstrating how to run a screen on a hobbit-sized field.
15. Grilling with charcoal.
16. Being drunk on Saturday before Herbstreit sees his first co-ed breast.
17. Matt Leinart getting knocked out for the season.
18. Games named things like “San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl.”
19. “[YOUR SCHOOL NAME] SUCKS” shirts.
20. The Washington State flag.
21. Wondering which skin disease Brian Cook is hiding under that hair. And why it doesn’t affect his forehead. 
22. Ruining a bunch of sportswriters’ pre-written “Why Notre Dame doesn’t belong in a bowl game” articles.
23. Knowing that somewhere out there, Dave Wannstedt is struggling to figure out how to work his remote control.
24. The fact that the Big Ten Network has “The Ron Zook Show ‘07.”
25. Knowing that Tyrone Willingham lives more than 2,000 miles from South Bend.
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4 Comments
Tertiary syphilis causes skin lesions, but that would require Cook to have had sex with someone else, and that’s just too crazy an idea.
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I play trombone for the band, and let me tell you, I’m as much a fan as “You Can Call Me Al”, “Crazy Train”, and “Swingtown” as the next guy. However, the ND band has to play Celtic Chant and Imperial March all game because we are ALWAYS on defense. “You Can Call Me Al” will return when the offense does.
Back in the day, though, the band basically serenaded the student section every game with “You Can Call Me Al.” They stood in front of the student section in the 3rd(? 4th?) quarter and played it up at the students during a timeout. Am I completely remembering this wrong? Matt, I implore you to lead the charge to once again blast Paul Simon into the student section!
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