I’d like to give our readers my sincerest apologies today. You see, earlier in the day, I posted this picture…

…with what I thought was a clever little caption…

“So boring, he’s paid to make Oatmeal look interesting by comparison.”

…in this post.

However, in the brief time this post has been up on HLS, we’ve been flooded with e-mails and messages from our readers expressing confusion. You see, apparently most of you don’t have any idea who this man is. Further, a good dozen of you seem to think this man is Larry from Accounting.

Thinking on it further, I’ve come to realize that I played the fool here. Of course most of you wouldn’t know who this man is. You see, he’s Joe Tiller, the Head Football Coach of Purdue College. But how would you ever know that? It’s not like anyone outside of West Lafayette, Indiana ever pays any attention to Purdue Football. Hell, have you seen a Purdue Football game on TV since the last time Notre Dame played them? Exactly.

So my apologies. A joke just isn’t funny if nobody gets it. I was trying to make a clever joke mixing the fact that Joe Tiller looks just like that guy that used to do the oatmeal commercials and the fact that Purdue Football is the most boring college football program in the world.

From now on, you, the HLS reader, have my pledge that our clever and witty content will contain only the freshest and/or most popular elements of the zeitgeist. Thus, HLS will no longer use any references to Purdue Football.

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JoeO, otherwise known as “my brother”, saw how pathetically I was performing in this game and decided to join us. And he’s already poised to overtake me in 2 weeks. Arg. I swear I know my football!

Looks like Bad Kermit has given up his lead to Benedict Arnold The Bear. At least I had the second best score for the week by a guy who didn’t pick against his Alma Mater.

Expert	Previous Score	This Week	Total
Sed	75	20	95
Sed’s Dog	80	40	120
The Bear	130	50	180
Dneelan	100	20	120
Bad Kermit	135	35	170
ChisND	105	10	115
domer.mq	55	35	90
Biscuit	110	20	130
JoeO	0	30	30

My only hope this week is to not get so bored thinking about Purdue that I can make a solid pick. I’d better pick the other 2 games first just to be safe.

So boring, he’s paid to make Oatmeal look interesting by comparison.

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Legends of South Bend is quickly becoming a favorite stopping point on the complex system of tubes I like to call “The Place Where People Talk To Me.” They’ve got an awesome video interview with Lou Holtz up right now. Go check it out now. Seriously. I don’t care if your boss is standing next to you, asking if you got the memo about the cover sheets for the TPS reports, ignore him and go check out this video. I’d just include it in this post, but I think Legends should get the hits.

Da da da da da da da dum da… Lou! Da da da da da da dum da da… Lou!

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 Freaking ghosts are everywhere!

This is NOT an excuse.  Seriously.  We recognize and have recognized time and again how much improvement has been needed (and thank Touchdown Jesus that we’ve seen some recently).  We know it should be better.  But, the fact of the matter is that this program has been hit with 3 factors that have made success this year very difficult.  Most programs suffer big time when one of these is the case - this year ND has all 3. 

1) Serious lack of talent in the upper classes.  This has been addressed ad nauseum. 

2)  Serious lack of experience in the younger classes.  A lot of frosh playing, and a lot of new starters in the sophomore/junior classes.  Also addressed. 

And 3)  Brutal Schedule. 

There are other factors as well, obviously:  leadership, coaching decisions, scheme, new D, etc. etc.  But I think we agree these 3 are the big ones.

I just thought I’d shed some light on Number 3, since we’ve addressed 1 and 2 in some way shape or form over the weeks. 

ND is facing a Gauntlet of a schedule.  So far in the year, ND has faced the 11th toughest schedule in the nation, according Sagrin’s strength of schedule ratings.  11th.  A team with little upper class talent, and almost no experience in the younger classes, and starting a new QB, 2 new receivers, new RB’s, 3 new Olinemen and an entirely new Defense is playing the 11th toughest in the nation.  What about that situation spells W’s?  Nothin’. 

A few quick tidbits on other SOS bits and pieces:

• The only team in the Top 25 that has faced anywhere near the SOS of ND?  Nebraska, playing the 16th most difficult so far.  No other team in the Top 25 has faced a schedule in the Top 20 in terms of difficulty.  Congrats Cornhuskers.
• Average SOS in the Top 10?  74.  Playing easy teams makes winning easier.
• In the Top 25? Average SOS rank is 86.  Yes, yes, much easier.
• The 10 teams with schedules more difficult than ND are a combined 10-26. 

ND opponents this year have faced fairly light competition (including ND unfortunately):

• Michigan:  51st most difficult schedule
• Ga Tech:  92
• MSU:  102
• Purdue:  132
• PSU:  135

What’s this mean?  These teams are very likely well rested and well-prepared for ND.  Just another mountain to climb.

It’s important to keep in mind that this is a major aspect to the slow start.  If we scheduled games like many of our opponents, I guarantee things would be different.  How I wish we had Purdue’s (yyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwn) opening schedule, filled with teams from PORTIONS of states: EASTERN Illinois, WESTERN Michigan, Toledo and Minnesota.  Let’s flip-flop schedules and see which team is more likely to be 0-4 and which is 4-0.  We’d see a different story I’m sure.

The Gauntlet?  Yes.  An Excuse?  No.   We should be better, and we should win some of these games.  Especially if we play as the Wizard.

 

 

 

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You know it’s pretty bad when everyone’s sitting around Purdue thinking, “What can we do to make this place more exciting?” and the answer comes back in a flash of brilliance, a bright blinding spot of igenuity and creativity…

Let’s make the WORLD’S BIGGEST DRUM!!!    YEAH!!!!!!!!

And they did.  And they were still boring.

And, they were surpassed.  Apparently the University of Chicago drum, Texas’ drum and the Millenium Drum are all bigger. 

So they don’t even have that going for them. Sad.

 

Liars!!!!!!!!!

 

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Notice we didn’t do a HLSTNHT-25 Week 3? No? Neither did we.

1. OK
2. USC
3. LSU
4. WVU
5. Cal
6. FL
7. Texas
8. Rutgers
9. Oregon
10. BC
11. Ohio State
12. Wisconsin
13. Clemson
14. Georgia
15. Kentucky
16. South Carolina
17. South Florida
18. Missouri
19. Va Tech
20. PSU
21. Alabama
22. ASU
23. Cincy
24. Miami
25. Nebraska

Notes and Such: 1-3 are probably really “1a, 1b, 1c.” I don’t know. You sort it out. Florida gave us pause after struggling against Mississippi.  Then again, it is Florida’s first win in the state of Mississippi since the 70s. Miami gets a lot of points for slaughtering a team, any team, even if Texas A&M hasn’t been Texas A&M in a long, long time.  That was the first time in a long time that Miami looked like Miami. Penn State is still in there, and we’ve got a sneaking suspicion that Michigan could be in there very soon. Who’d have thunk it? Just goes to show that the ND game always makes or breaks Michigan’s season.

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Unfathomably intelligent reader “Irish_Wertzy,” not to be confused with “Thai_Wertzy,” “Namibian_Wertzy,” or “Sam,” reminded me that back-up tight end Konrad Reuland has decided to transfer. By all accounts, Konrad never once missed a bus.

Charlie Weis had a brief statement, making the rumored event official:

“After meeting with Konrad Reuland on Sunday, he has decided he will leave the team and withdraw from Notre Dame,” coach Charlie Weis said. “I appreciate all Konrad has done for Notre Dame and I wish him nothing but the best.”

Reuland was facing a tough battle to get playing time at ND, as he appeared to be about 3rd or 4th on the current depth chart, and would have to compete with the #1 TE recruit in the country joining the Irish next year.

These sorts of transfers will probably get more frequent with Notre Dame as the talent pool makes substantial jumps in quality over the next few years. Reuland probably has the ability to start for most D1 teams. It’s a nice problem for ND to have, but we’re always disappointed to see a good guy leave.

Good luck, Konrad.

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It’s bad enough that ND is 0-4 this season.  It’s even worse to know that this is Purdue week - The Most Boring Week In College Football Blogging.

If you guys hear anything that we should know and that we should let other ND fans know about Purdue, please feel free to e-mail us.  We’re digging.  We really are, but Purdue is simply the most boring college football program in the nation, and it’s hard to keep our attention on the task at hand.  I got distracted by some pre-Algebra homework problems earlier when I was trying to pull some facts together about whoever their coach might be.  I think he sells diabetes equipment or something.

This would be a vastly more interesting week if we’d dump Purdue from the schedule and take on a team like, say, ITT Technical Institute.  Do they have a football team?  I often wonder why kids go to play at Purdue.  What, hate the difficulty of playing for a team that people might actually look up in the Sunday papers?  Have a masochistic love of tedium?
Maybe we’ll do a “look back” on what’s happened in the last 4 weeks since, apparently, nothing much will be happening this week.

Whatever.

Hey, did you hear that a mime has died?

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