Michingan (sucks!)’s supposed Heisman candidate QB, Chad Henne, who could suck apart the chemically bound elements used to make chrome on a Harley, is out for the ND game with an injury, leaving plenty of votes open for the other two Michigan (sucks!) Heisman canditates, Mike “Trying to Avoid Sucking by Keeping His Mouth Moving” Hart and Mario “My Memory isn’t so Short That I’m Gonna Make Up a Mean Nickname about Him Sucking Just Yet Because I Remember Last Year” Manningham. You ask me, he just wanted a moment to breath from all the sucking.

Injured Michigan quarterback Chad Henne will not play against Notre Dame.

Wolverines coach Lloyd Carr did not provide a timetable for Henne’s return, listing him Monday as week-to-week. The senior was knocked out of the second half of Saturday’s 39-7 loss to Oregon.

Freshman Ryan Mallett will start against the Fighting Irish on Saturday at home in a matchup of storied teams with 0-2 records.

“This test will be different than any he’s had,” Carr said. “But I can guarantee you that he’s not intimidated.”

Carr declined to confirm Saturday’s ABC-TV report that Michigan trainer Paul Schmidt said Henne had a lower-leg injury.

The senior struggled in his first 1½ games as the Wolverines opened with two losses at home for the first time since 1959.

Henne was 12-of-23 for 172 yards with a touchdown and an interception, a pass that sailed into double coverage on the opening drive against Oregon. In the opener, he was 19-of-37 for 233 yards with a score and an interception in Appalachian State territory.

Seriously, Chad would destroy this.

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