Define “Progress”
domer.mq

progress comes to
With PSU coming up this week, and looking like quite the hot little number, all tarted up in the trappings and glory of a 59-0 win over Florida International, it seems like a lot of the Notre Dame fan base is just hoping for “progress” from last week to this week. And by “progress,” they don’t necessarily mean winning.
Now, I’ll tell you I know that ND can win this game. The talent is there. The coaching is there. If ND plays up to their potential, they will win. The only thing lacking is heavy doses of experience across the board and a few wafer-thin areas on the roster. On paper this may all look like a PSU blowout, but I kid you not ND can win this game, and I’m going to pick them to do so in our Expert Picks.
However, if we accept for a moment that “progress” can be achieved by ND this week without a notch on the “W” bedpost, how do we define it? Let’s go through a little mental exercise without forfeiting the right to be royally p-o’d if ND doesn’t shove a loss down Joe Pa’s throat.
prog·ress [n. prog-res, -ruh
s or, especially Brit., proh-gres; v. pruh-gres]
–noun
- In over 90% of offensive snaps, the Irish offensive line maintains their blocks until the the whistle is blown.
- The Irish offensive line allows fewer than 3 QB sacks.
- The Irish QB connects on 60+% of his passes.
- ND running backs break at least 4 runs for more than 15 yards apiece.
- No stupid “anger” penalties.
- ND Fullbacks find their blocking target and whiff no more than 2 times.
- When the PSU defense blitzes, the ND QB will have enough presence to at least find the open man and attempt a throw.
- No PSU defenders will be able to blitz the QB while a ND “blocker,” be it OL, TE, or RB is “blocking air.”
- The ND OLB/DEs “set the edge” against outside run bouncing by PSU.
- The ND defense allows fewer than 125 yards rushing.
- The ND defense records 2+ turnovers.
- The PSU QB connects on fewer than 60% of his pass attempts.
- The ND kickoff return men make the correct read at the point of attack and break on the correct window each and every opportunity.
- Charlie Weis identifies and exploits a weakness in the PSU defense until PSU shows they can stop it (meaning exploitations occur at least 5+ times).
- Schwapp finally destroys someone with a block.
- Oh yeah, Charlie puts the damn ball in Armando’s hands!
That’s a pretty big list, and I’m a reasonable guy, so let’s say that, in my world, if something has 75% “duckness,” it’s a duck. Therefore, if ND accomplishes 75% of the things on this list, it’s achieved progress. Which, of course, simply means that the ND coaching staff is doing it’s job.

Last week’s Irish offense turned me into a newt!
But again, if ND doesn’t win, I reserve the right to achieve monumental progress on my level of anger, and ND had better be ready to win against Michigan.
What would you add to the list?
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6 Comments
yo. shouldnt ND be ‘we’ or at least ‘them’ rather than ‘it’?
also, if we do 75% of all of that stuff, we WILL win. so progress = win with your current definition i think. at the least, it’d be damn close.
sad to say, but progress would be moving the ball a little, and stopping them a little. progress would be 10 points and only allowing 5 sacks. progress isn’t a high bar at this point, but i like that you’re setting it higher.
my wife says that progress is putting down the toilet seat. but, i wholeheartedly disagree. progress is women learning to pee with good aim while standing up.
Look, if I spend time proof reading and editing, it’ll take me 3 times as long to post anything.
I reject your notions of progress. That’s progress for pathetic teams. We aren’t a pathetic team. Not yet. If we suck again this week, we’re pathetic. If we show “progress,” then we just had one really bad game. It happens. Kinda like gonorrhea.
I couldnt tell if it was on purpose or not. I wouldnt call you out on punctuation and shite - I HATE it when people do that. I thought you were being sarcastic and I was taking the other side. My bad.
Last week WAS pathetic. I agree that that would be a pathetic level of progress. But, anything better is progress, so it doesnt take much for us to have progressed. It’s just a low bar of a starting point. It’s not where we should be or where I want us to be. It’s just where we be at. Edit that sentence, biotch!
Boys! Boys! Where’s the love?! Enjoy the game,…..and the “progress.”
[...] Is it? Well, we tried to define progress for the team last week. At least, we tried to define some “measurables” if you will. Whatever the hell that means. I had 16 items listed - 16 things I wanted to see ND do not just “better,” but well. And I said that if ND accomplishes 12 of these items, I’d consider it “progress.” So how did they do? Let’s take a look and see how the ND Football Team progressed, if at all. I admit, I set the bar pretty high, but, hey, this is Notre Dame. [...]
[...] Last week, we covered 16 items that, if performed well at a rate of just 75% in the Penn State game, would show, to us, anyway, that the 2007 Notre Dame Football team had made some real “progress.” And then we discussed whether or not the squad had passed that litmus test, if you will. And, unfortunately, while we’re more than willing to say that the team got “better,” they did not meet our standards of “progress.” [...]
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