Before I get into the preview of the Skunkbears, I’d just like to point out a little tidbit I heard on ESPN Radio today provided by Michigan (sucks!) Alum Dana Jacobson. Apparently she had just finished an interview with Llloyd Carr, and they’d discussed the importance of these little “tune-up” games with football luminaries like Appalachian State. In Dana’s words, these games are important because you’d never want to start the season against someone like Notre Dame. It’s funny because from 1985-1990, Michigan (sucks!) started every year against Notre Dame. Weird. Must have been a scheduling mistake.
Anyway, Michigan (sucks!) wont be making that mistake this year. No, they’ll give Chad Henne, Mike Hart, and a relatively new stable of defenders plenty of time to prep for any real games.
Offense: Hart, Henne, Manningham. Oooooh. How will any of them win the Heisman if they’re all stealing eachother’s votes? Henne is a 60% passer. Hart averages 5.2 a rush. Manningham lives behind the safeties. How ever will they be stopped but for Llloyd Carr’s inexplicable desire to hobble an offense?
Defense: Remember how scary they were last year? Not so much this year. Everyone’s got 1 year of tape on Ron English’s tendancies, and they’ve lost 7 starters from last year, notably Alan Branch and LaMarr Woodley and their top 2 tacklers Harris and Burgess. Still, English really impressed us last year, and we expect more excellence this year.
Special Teams: They lose a lot of kickers and All Never Was American Steve Breaston. Expect a lot of blah this year, but at least they have All Name Punter Zoltan Mesko.
- Llloyd Carr is 5-7 in bowl games.
- Michigan (sucks!) has ended the last 3 seasons with 2 losses.
- Michigan (sucks!) has lost 4 straight to Ohio State (also sucks!)
HLS Top 25 Meta:
- Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 6
- Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 8
- Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 6.5
Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:
- “Maize” is a cereal grain that was domesticated in Mesoamerica and then spread thru the American Continents. (source)
Around the Web:
HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:
Well, the organized scrimmage against App State probably wont tell us much. Things get slightly more interesting the next week when they meet up against Oregon. But let’s face it, Notre Dame is the game that makes or breaks almost their entire season (shut it, OSU). Newton’s little know 4th law of motion involves the momentum of a Llloyd Carr coached team, and it states that any Llloyd Carr coached team that loses to Notre Dame after being a highly ranked, heavily favored contender in the match will henceforth suck even more than usual. We predict a Michigan loss against ND, so…