An Open Letter to Kevin White, University of Notre Dame Athletic Department

domer.mq - 9:59 pm

Hey Kev!

Wazzup!

Ha! Remember when, like, everybody was all, “Waaaaaa Suuuuuuuup!”

“Waaaaaa Suuuuuuuup”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

“Aaaaaaaa”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

Ha! Good times. Sorta like back when Notre Dame played a national schedule that made the rest of the world stand up and take notice. Back when we didn’t play Duke, because Stanford was our Duke. Now Stanford’s our Stanford, and f-ing Duke is our Duke! What the hell, Kev? You’re letting me down, man! You’re letting Our Mother down, Kev. You don’t want to do that Kev, my boy. We are very, VERY Loyal Sons, and we know where you get your dry cleaning done. If you don’t want your shirts to start getting extra starch in the summers, then you’d better shape up.

But man, have I got a deal for you! Seems another program with a grand tradition has this big-talkin’ coach who has thrown down the gauntlet, so-to-speak, and that gauntlet is now in your lap. How’s that feel, Kev? Feels sorta harsh, don’t it? Kinda like when you apply for every damned home game and don’t win a single freaking ticket harsh, eh Kev? Huh? Yeah!?

I digress.

Just imagine Kev: Battle of the Titans. The most successful college program in football history, Notre Dame, against a program that seems to pull National Championships out of it’s rear every time a cheerleader sneezes, Alabama. Imagine the ticket revenue, Kev! Imagine the ratings!

So, yeah, if you could go ahead and make that happen in between re-negotiations with Adidas and new negotiations with Champion, that’d be swell.

In fact, scratch that, Kev. Dump Adidas. Go back to Champion. I’ve been trying to think of what good Adidas has done for us, and this is all I could come up with:

[youtube]1dPt5LHg6Dw[/youtube]

Thanks, Kev! TTYL!

Her Loyal Sons

PS – Ooh! I almost forgot, here’s our suggestion for making room in the Schedule for Alabama:
Dump SDSU and Nevada from our future schedules. Don’t worry, they’ll be able to recoup their paydays when Michigan clamors to schedule them.

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