PSU Takes Lesson from Miami, “Expels” Players from…Summer School?

Okay okay, this borders on the absurd. 

10 PSU players were involved in an off-campus fight a while back.  We all heard about it, and it looked for a bit like Penn State might decide to be a little different than all other 'big time' college football programs, and actually punish the players.  It almost seemed like they might take a stand and say that mob mentality and meatheadedness would not be considered okay in their program, and institution.

JoePa handed down his own verdict:  the players will pick up garbage after every home game.  Yay!  That's good.  Way to go death-defying underlord of the great Dark One.  Work that soulless shell of a body for all it's worth!

Now, the administration at PSU (haha, P U, get it? like it smells, ha!) has handed down their own verdict.  The ruling:

If you're a huge hulking beast of a football player, and you call in 10 of your teammates to throw the beat down on a dude in HIS house, at HIS party because he looked at you funny, you will be expelled.  EXPELLED!  [The following is the running conversation I had with myself as I read about this.  Yes, I am partially insane]

Wow, that's serious. Way to go Penn State.  Way to stick to your guns and show the world that you're a classy institution, and that football players are held to the same standards as...

Wait, it's a temporary expulsion. 

Huh?

Yeah, and it only applies during summer school. 

What the...isn't that just a suspension? 

Yeah, pretty much.

Why not call it that?

Because it sounds more serious as an expulsion.

But that makes no sense.

Exactly.

Okay okay, so at least they are suspended for the summer.  That's at least good.

Well, they're actually suspended from school, but not from football practice.

WHAT?

Yep, they "can't" go to class but they can practice all summer long.  So they no longer have to deal with classes, they have more time to party, gang up and beat down innocent dudes at parties in their houses, and more time to work out and practice. 

As if they WANT to go to class????????  Who are these freaking morons?????

Calm it brother. Calm it.

Calmer than you.  At the least the expulsion/suspension goes into part of the season right, so they're not eligible to play in the first game?

You mean that tough opener against Florida International?  Oh, no, they are un-expelled as of the first game.  They can play.

I freaking give up.

[End running dialogue]

The lesson learned here?  If you're a football player at a big school (PSU in particular) and you are a meathead jerk and decide to fight whoever you want, you will get out of class for the summer, and you will certainly not miss any games. 

Brilliant.  Way to align incentives PSU.  In your world, murder would be 'punished' with a lifelong supply of Guinness.

Asses.