Brady Quinn Appears On Cover of Men’s Health, Ruins Dessert

The Scene: A man and his wife return home for the day after a workout at the gym and a long walk home. Having walked home from the gym, the man feels he can afford a little dessert to end the evening and unwind, and begins to look through the kitchen to assemble said dessert. Meanwhile, the man’s wife goes to get the mail, and returns to the apartment with a bundle of mail, paying close attention to a magazine wrapped in plastic.

Man: Honey, where’s the chocolate sauce?

Woman: Huh?

Man: Chocolate sauce.

Woman: Fridge.

Man digs through the fridge while the woman rips open the plastic wrap around the magazine, turns to page 172, and stares.

Man finds chocolate sauce and begins searching other cupboards, walks down to living room.

Man: Where are the Dorritos?

Woman: Huh?

Man: Dorritos?

Woman: Above the oven.

Man heads back to kitchen, begins to dig thru cupboard above oven.

Man: I feel great. Had a heck of a workout tonight. Ran 3 miles. Had a good lift. And that walk was nice, eh, Hon?

Woman: Says here he has 5% body fat.

Man: What? Who? What are you reading?

Woman: Brady Quinn. He’s featured in Men’s Health. He’s got 5% body fat. And he’s tall. Nice and tall. Needs a haircut, but 5% body fat. Impressive.

Man: Yeah. Very impressive. I hear he only eats boiled chicken. I wish we had some cream cheese. Where are the Fruit Loops?

Woman: 5%. What do you think’s average for a guy?

Man: I dunno. 20?

Woman: What percent are you?

Man: …

Woman: Sweetie, what percent are you?

Man returns to living room with a glass of water.

Woman: I thought you were going to have dessert.

Man: Me too.