Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then commence gobbling up every word of our masterful analysis below…

In 8th grade, I learned a difficult lesson: Not everyone wins. In my case, I learned that not everyone wins a participation trophy in pee wee football. Nope. Sometimes you have to be the one kid out of 34 who didn’t get called up by the coach during the bbq banquet, handed a trophy, and plied with nice words like, “always hustled,” or “best form tackler.” The teams listed below received votes, but just didn’t do enough to earn a place in the HLSTNHT25-PE. Maybe next year, kid.

• Oregon - The land of a 1000 uniforms is reeling a bit from a poor ending to the 2006/07 season. One suspects that karma caught up with them after last year’s Oklahoma debacle. Mike Bellotti seems to know how to coach, and their offensive skill starters all return, not to mention a lot of the skill-position backups. That spells depth. But those returning starters got pasted by BYU in their bowl game last year, and smacked around by USC and Arizona not long before that. They return 7 starters on each side of the ball, but can these guys get around the corner and stop bleeding out points while seemingly always leading their opponents in yards per game? Seems to spell poor red-zone efficiency plus susceptibility to big, TD scoring plays. Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #25
• South Carolina - Few teams have reminded me of a Jr. Varsity team like South Carolina. And that’s not a bad thing. You can sort of watch them play and see that they’re poised for a breakout year… eventually. Last year they had 8 incredibly close games, including one that ended with a blocked field goal - a blocked field goal that ultimately played a huge part in putting Florida in the NC game. Still, there’s never any guarantee of a breakout. It’s often just anticipated, and while Spurrier is a bastard great football coach, there’s no guarantee that he can get this team to the top of the SEC. After all, it was just last year when Spurrier had to push, pull, and drag players into summer workouts. Have those same players learned their lesson? Reason to Watch Out: “The Other USC” gets 10 of their defensive starters back after a season in which they had to replace 2 DLs and essentially 4 linebackers. Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #24
• Miami - After perhaps the most embarrassing football season on the field, off the field and on and off the field in the history of sports, Miami did one thing right: They fired Larry Coker. Of course, they didn’t fire their lying, scum bag of a president, but we’ve got to believe it’s just a matter of time. Randy Shannon, Miami’s previous defensive coordinator, is now the Head Coach, and he’s quickly becoming known as a disciplinarian. Still, that may be like calling him the skinny kid at fat camp with the way Miami operates. Defense hasn’t been a problem at Miami since I can remember, and even last year that held true, so can Shannon, a very good DC, find a solution to the lowest scoring Miami offense since the 1970s? Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #24
• Oklahoma State - Coach Mike Gundy’s career record of 11-13 draws a collective “meh.” The entire team, actually, gets a “meh.” They could best their 7 win total from last year. They could also lose 10 games. It’s hard to say. One thing that catches the eye is their QB, Bobby Reid, who may make himself a dark horse candidate for the Heisman. He could prove himself to be one of the most productive players in college football. But probably not. Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #23
• Florida State - You might be bummfuzzled about how ole’ Bobbah’s team could be missing from our Top 25. But then you’d be forgetting the punch-line laden offensive “effort” these guys put forth last year. Sure, they’ve replaced Bowden’s least favorite son with a real life, genuine offensive coordinator (LSU’s Jimbo Fisher), but can those kids in Tallahassee learn how to run a pass play not called a jump-ball before the season starts? The good news for Florida State is that they only return 6 offensive starters. The bad news is that one of them is named Drew Weatherford. They’d better hope their freshman QBs are ready to challenge for start time. FSU hasn’t finished in the top 5 of the major polls since 2000 - this after finishing in the top 5 for 14 straight years. Jimbo’s got more than nepotism to overcome. Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #21

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