Yesterday’s announcement that not 1, not 2, but 3 men are in the race for the starting quarterback of the 2007 edition of the Notre Dame Football Team came as a bit of a shock to a lot of people. And when a lot of people don’t understand something, they tend to come up with wild, speculative ideas on why that something occurred. Take a look at the Kennedy assassination, global warming, or trans-fats to see what I mean.

But a long time ago a guy named Occam came up with a wild idea himself that applies to, well, just about everything.

All things being equal, the simplest solution [/explanation] tends to be the best one.

This idea is known as “Occam’s Razor.” To see how well this idea applies, let’s take a look at some common situations in life and see how Occam would explain them away.

As you can see, most everything that really matters in life is explained pretty well by this principle.

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In the same press release announcing the reduction of QB Starter contenders by 25%, The Notre Dame football program made another, possibly even more important announcement:

“Finally, we will be using officiating crews from the Big East this season rather than Big Ten officials.“

Meaning that the Notre Dame program will import Big East officials to their away games rather than Integer refs.  This is great news.  While some conferences may simply dislike Notre Dame or feel some level of bias against ND, the Big Ten and their officials actually resent Notre Dame and have shown that resentment in the form of uncalled holding penalties for as long as I can remember.  I can’t imagine how many sacks Victor Abriamiri might have had this past season but for Integer refs.

This may also allow Charlie Weis to speak more quickly and in more hushed tones when speaking with refs during road games.

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Charlie Weis pulled a fast one on the Notre Dame fan base today as he’s narrowed the starting QB competition down from 4 potential starters all the way down to 3. Most had expected coach to narrow it down to 2 potential starters at the end of this month (today or tomorrow by elimination (See, Dad! All that tuition didn’t go to waste!)).

The “final 3″ are Evan Sharpley, Jimmy Clausen, and Demetrius Jones.

“After concluding spring ball evaluations, Evan Sharpley, Demetrius Jones and Jimmy Clausen remain as the main contenders. Each of these three young men brought something unique to the QB competition. Evan ran the operation the best, Jimmy threw the ball the best, and Demetrius made the most plays. For these reasons, they will compete for playing time.”

Some analysis (in bullet point form!), since we know you’re dying to know what we think about this development.

• Weis is not approaching this season as a rebuilding year. He likes to win, and he likes to win now. And so he’s keeping the 2 guys that give him the best shot to win right now in the race (Sharpley and Jones). Sharpley provides a consistent, trust-worthy ability to manage an offense. Sort of a “just don’t lose it for the rest of us” style of play. Jones provides the wild-card physical ability that can break some big plays and keep a team in contention for some important games.
• Clausen has the ability to start, but needs polishing. He’s throwing the ball the best. Great, so his mechanics/skills are the best, but he doesn’t have the depth of knowledge/decision making skills of Sharpley. Yet. Given that Charlie isn’t (we think) just accepting 2007 as a rebuild year, Clausen’s got some work to do if he wants to start. It’s quiet in South Bend in the summer, Jimmy (Believe me, I know.). Perfect chance to put in the work.
• We sincerely hope that Zach Frazer doesn’t leave the team as a result of this announcement. He’s “one of us” now. “Part of the family.” And Weis is the sort of coach that will play the best player, meaning that the door isn’t closed on Zach to move up the chart.
• Weis opted not to penalize DD for that little traffic stop/weed confusion from the past few weeks. At least not in the form of blowing him out of the running to start. I’ll bet there were private ramifications, however.
• I don’t think the old Lou Holtz maxim about “not having a number 1″ holds just yet. A) We don’t know if one of the “top 3″ is a clear #1 in Charlie’s mind. B) Charlie tends to like to go with the flow in tactics and strategy. He may just be going with the flow in a very competitive QB battle right here. C) By having a “top 3″ rather than a “top 2″ in the “QB Controversy” over the summer, you sort of dilute the overall pressure from media/fans on each of the contenders.
• There’s another tidbit in the linked press release about summer training camp being held on the regular (fenced) practice fields rather than the traditional, wide-open fields near the bookstore. Meaning that the name of the #1 QB will not be made public until Georgia Tech’s defense finds out just before the first snap of the ball. You and I think, “It’s just Georgia Tech,” but Charlie takes nothing for granted, including an element of surprise over an opponent – any opponent.
• More thoughts to come, maybe. Please throw in your 2 cents in the comments.

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We know it’s slow during the offseason, but that doesn’t give Dennis Dodd of CBSSportsline.com any excuses for the piece of fecal matter he’s published on their site (fecal matter gets no link here (unless you count self-referential links, of course)).  Then again, if we’re looking for things that need an excuse, just about everything Dodd has ever done in his entire life needs an excuse of some sort.

Anyway, here’s what Dennis has pulled out of his “hat,” and by “hat” we mean “butt.”  Bold text is my commentary.

As momentous occasions go, it’s not exactly the season finale of 24. In fact, you might just want to go ahead and TiVo it.

Uh, I believe Heroes proved that the season finale of 24 isn’t even the season finale of 24 anymore, Dodd.

The significance of Wednesday’s announcement at Notre Dame won’t be felt until the fall at the earliest, and maybe not even then. But this being ND, half the world will be salivating while the other half will be hating. So Charlie Weis might as well make an event out of it.

Media will be alerted. There might even be a press conference.

The Irish coach is not naming his starting quarterback in May. Nothing like that. Having taken a reasonable time to analyze the situation (39 days since the end of spring practice), he will merely cut the list of candidates from four to two.

Actually, Charlie’s never officially said he would make an announcement today (Wednesday).  He just said it may be sometime at the end of this month.  Stop going to the interns for facts, Dodd.

We’re here to spare you the suspense.

How?  You don’t know shit, Lebowski Dodd.

Freshman Jimmy Clausen and sophomore Demetrius Jones will compete for the job come August. You may now go back to your iPods and barbecue pits.

Where on earth did you come up with this, Dodd?  Seriously.  You may be right, but only by guessing.  It’s my guess too, but the “whispers” to which I listen to (and which are probably much more connected to the program than your “whispers”) are starting to place some doubt in my head – at least about one of the two.

Now onward with the juicy particulars.

Alert!  “Juicy Particulars” is a term used to subconsciously indicate that this is a piece written for the enjoyment of morons/ND haters.

Clausen didn’t grace Notre Dame with his prep All-America talent and enroll a semester early just to be a backup. But Jones didn’t sit around for a year — he didn’t see the field as a freshman — just to back up a prep All-American.

Uh, I’m pretty sure no D1 level talent ever recruited to play football in the history of D1 football has ever gone to a school looking forward to sitting on the bench and playing backup, Dodd.  Way to be insightful, Dodd.  Hey, I hear Christopher Columbus didn’t go sailing just to shipwreck and drown.  Have you heard anything illuminating about that, Dennis?

Let the hostilities begin. [Hostilities?  Competition is now synonymous with "hostility" now, Dennis?  Can we start calling terrorists "big competitors" now, Dennis?] Sorry, junior Evan Sharpley and sophomore Zach Frazer. Here’s some lovely parting gifts. No, really. A transfer might be in order for one of you. You might want to stick around for a while, though, if only to have club seats to the drama. This Clausen-Jones thing could get good. [It could.  It could also be incredibly boring. Know what else could have gotten really good, but turned out to be boring, Dennis?  Spiderman 3.]
More…

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ESPN starts reporting on uni changes by…MSU!

That’s right, our favorite team to hate-but-not-respect has gone out and gotten theyselves a new coach and some new tights to wear.  Boy are they cute!

These new uni’s have a few “cool things they can do” according to a Nike rep.  They’re supposed to fit better, weigh less, ventilate more freely, and manage moisture better.  Oh joy!  But, wait, can they help keep a team, program and school that is SO used to choking (and loving to choke) from choking?

Nike Rep?  “Ummm, no comment”.

The new uniforms, fondly dubbed “The Flag Protectors”, will be great when MSU goes out to plant their flag at midfield and/or defend their 50 yard line from would-be flag planters.  Like last year:

An MSU player agreed to comment, under the condition that she remain anonymous.  “Seriously, man, we are the ones that plant the flags. And this uniform makes it so much easier to bend over and plant that flag where it belongs.”

You can find pics of the new uni’s on MSU’s site along with a blurb that largely resembles the above.  But they sorta suck, so I’m not going to give them the bajillion five hits they’d get from us…

PS - I STILL can’t help but laugh at the small guy on the right.  What is he DOING there?  Someone tell me who he is, please?

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6-1, 300(!) pound Brandon Newman of Louisville, Kentucky has commited to dominating the line of scrimmage for future Notre Dame Football squads.

This is a massive commitment.

Welcome to the family, Brandon!

(Image via scout.com)

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We’re a little late with this one, but it’s such a gem we’ve gotta run with it.  Hat tip to IRT and the community of NDN for picking up on it first.

Pitt Head Coach Dave Wannstedt recently got back to campus after an exhausting recruiting trip.  We’ll say this about the guy; he seems like a genuinely nice, hard working, and passionate college coach.  And except for our games with Pitt, we’ll always sort of be rooting for the guy (always like to see a bump in our SOS).

One other thing we can say for certain, Dave is an honest and smart man.

Wannstedt said, “but I do know this: If you want to get to the next level, unless you’re going to maybe Notre Dame or maybe USC, there’s no place and nobody that can prepare you better than I can.”

We love what you’re selling, Dave.

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So I woke up this morning to discover that my car had been stolen. Again. Talk about livid. I ran out of the house in my boxers, only to discover that the car was right where I left it. That, and 2 very traumatized neighbor kids waiting for the school bus.

It wasn’t what it looked like.

The Roundup:

• Pete Carroll (A girls name! Ha!) says that this year’s Southern Cal squad is “the most competitive team we’ve had.” That’s code for, “Ha! Suckers! You all actually believed it when I said you’d be the starting tailback! Haha! Fools! Thank God none of you can do basic math! Now go sit on the bench!”
• You’ve doubtless heard about and probably even seen the photos of Brady Quinn dressed in Village People attire and dancing at his sister’s wedding. They’re silly photos, but we decided not to post them here because we thought it was pretty lame that the photographer was using them on their site to promote their business. I guess it’s the thing to do if you’re promoting a business, but we gotta think that the photographer could have used some other photos that were a bit less blog-fodderish. Anyway, I think somebody be suin’ ‘der asses cuz dey be threatin’ ta be suin’ asses too. (Side note: Ever notice how most wedding photographers have an unnatural obsession with Shih Tzu puppies? No? Just us? Ok then.)
• BGS reminded us that today is Father Ted’s 90th birthday. Happy Birthday, Father Ted! The guy once offered me a Coke while I was setting up a desktop in his office. It was the most visionary and faithful Coke I’ve ever had.
• SMQ has created an absurdly premature look at the 2007 Notre Dame football team, but that doesn’t make his analysis absurd. In fact, I can’t really find any fault with it when I replace my Notre Dame hat with my rational hat. So go read it and get a rather unbiased understanding of what this squad really faces this fall. Then put on your ND hat, dismiss it, and remind the world that you expect a NC every year! Besides, ND always wins the NC when it’s the head coach’s 3rd year.

• Finally, we get a little more insight as to why DD got pulled over (and then arrested (and then cleared)). Littering? That actually bothers me worse than the pot accusations, but I see it as no reason to hurt DD’s chances of grabbing the starting spot this fall.

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UPDATE – Per the South Bend Tribune , the charges have been dropped! I’ll pause here so you can all thank me for crossing my fingers.

According to court documents in LaPorte Superior Court III, the registered owner of the vehicle Jones was driving on May 17, when Jones was arrested during a traffic stop on the Indiana Toll Road by Indiana State Police, testified that he allowed Jones to borrow his vehicle to drive from Chicago to South Bend.

To the best of the car owner’s knowledge, court documents said, Jones did not know there was marijuana in the ashtray.

Huzzah! Of course, this begs the question: Why was DD’s car getting the search treatment?  We get the feeling that Indiana cops can be much like South Carolina cops.

Anyway, this is great news.  The initial story left me pretty much shocked.  DD is, by all accounts, a “great kid” and a “natural leader.” (He’s also my favorite for the QB race – not b/c of any on-field evidence, but b/c having a great leader at that position counts for a lot when so much of the squad will be undergoing a transition this year.)

*******************************************************

(Below is the original, much too hasty post.)

This may or may not change the face of the QB battle. We don’t know anything more than what the linked story provides. We also don’t know if DD was among the top 2 QBs in Charlie’s eyes. Still, DD has already established himself as something of a natural leader for the Notre Dame Football Team.

Demetrius Jones was picked up in LaPorte County May 17th on a marijuana possession charge. He bonded out of jail that night.

The LaPorte County prosecutor’s office says he has been charged with a misdemeanor possession charge. A university spokesman says Jones remain enrolled, and to his knowledge, is currently in good standing.

Last year, ND basketball player Kyle McAlarney was arrested for marijuana possession. He was suspended from the team and kicked out of school with the chance to return. St. Joseph County drug charges against him were dropped if he met certain conditions.

He’s supposed to be back in class this fall and could be back already.

If he is, in fact, guilty, then Charlie Weis’ past decisions on illegal activity by members of the team point to some pretty harsh penalties here. I’d look for something at least on par with what occurred with ND basketball player Kyle McClarney this past year. At this point I’ll just cross my fingers and hope that this was all just a big misunderstanding.

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Well, you can’t live and then unlive as long as Joe Paterno without learning a few tricks here and there.  Just consider how cool everyone must’ve thought Joe was with his fire-making sticks. And today it looks like the rascally old rabbit fooled me yesterday with his announcement that the entire team would be punished for the misdeeds of a few of his players.

Oddly, it took a paid member of the press to point out what Joe is really up to.

…if you peel back the warm and fuzzy blanket, it’s as much a preemptive strike at the University’s Office of Judicial Affairs as it is corporal punishment for the players.

Consider the timing of the announcement. It comes before the Judicial Affairs folks begin their hearings into the incident. And it comes at a gathering near Philadelphia where it was guaranteed to get the largest media exposure, which it did. Tuesday’s Philadelphia Inquirer, the largest paper in this state and one of the largest in the country, played it prominently on the front page of the sports section.

No candidate running for political office could have done it better.

But as with any politician, you have to take what they say and when they say it, at face value and believe it at your own peril.

Paterno is absolutely right when he said that the players involved did something that embarrassed him, the team and the school. And he’s right when he says that he wants to do something that will “…prove to people that we’re not a bunch of hoodlums….”

Not all, or even most of them are, but, if the helmet fits….

I just knew it was too much to expect.

(HT: The Wiz)

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Well, if you’ve paid any attention at all to the off-season drama occurring at the Arkansas Football Program (and how could you not, what with the cancellation of Fox’s “The O.C.”?), then you will not be surprised to hear that Mitch Mustain is officially transferring to Southern Cal.

Quick Recap of all the drama from the top of my head:

Mustain: “I’m totally an awesome highschool QB.”

D1 Coaches Everywhere: “Yes.  You are.  Come play for me.”

Mustain: “Where shall I go?”

Houston Nutt: “Come to Arkansas.”

Mustain: “I’ll have to think about it.”

Houston Nutt: “I’m hiring your high school head coach as my Offensive Coordinator.”

Mustain: “Oooh!  Ok!”

Later in the season…

Mustain: “Coach Weis is clearly the best offensive mind in college football.  I want to play for him.”

Entire state of Arkansas: “Disloyal S.O.B.”

Charlie Weis: “There’s no room for you here.  I’ve already got my 2 QB commits.”

Mustain: “But I wanna…”

Weis: “No.”

Mustain: “But…”

Weis: “No.”

Mustain’s Mom: “Charlie Weis is a liar.”

Entire World: “Whatever.”

Next Season…

Nutt: “Welcome to Arkansas, Mitch.  Here’s the ball.  Go win some games.”

Mustain: “Ok.”

Later that season…

Nutt: “I’m not gonna let your old high school coach call plays anymore.  And by the way, we’re gonna run an offense that would make Pop Warner kids look like pros.”

Mustain: “Um…”

Nutt: “Sit down, Mitch.  You’re in my way.”

Mustain: “Um…”

After that season…

Mustain: “I’m, like, so totally not happy.”

Mustain’s ex-high school coach/quasi OC: “I’m leaving.  This place is for suxors!”

Mustain: “Dude!  I’m leaving too!”

Houston Nutt’s Insane Wife: “Mtch U R such teh loozer!!!!!111111111111111″

Houston Nutt: “Uh…”

Insane Arkansas Fan/Lawyer: “Ever heard of a little thing called the ‘Freedom of Information Act?’  Now I’ve got your cell phone records.”

Houston Nutt: “You can’t do that!”

Entire World: “Yes he can.”

Mustain: “I’m outta here.”

Pete Caroll: “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!  I’m, like, so totally psyched!  I love life!  Come play for us!  You’ll get a chance to start!  Ooh!  An opportunity to show how energetic and spry I am for a middle-aged guy!  I gotta go!  Call me!”

Mustain: “Wow!  Sounds awesome!  I’m in!”

Mark Sanchez: “Suxor!”

That’s as accurate as I can recall the entire saga.  It’s not exactly Homerian, I’ll grant you, but you get the gist.

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I report this bit with a somewhat skeptical eye.  The notion that Joe Paterno will actually do something about his team’s discipline problems that makes me want to stand up and applaud just seems highly improbable.

Then again, Joe Pa is now so dead old that it doesn’t seem like much of a stretch to think that the guy is getting really fed up with those darn kids!

Angered by the arrest of six of his players in connection with a fight at an off-campus apartment, Joe Paterno will be disciplining his entire Penn State football team – for the entire season.Speaking yesterday before a university alumni function in Valley Forge, Paterno said he was going to require all his players to perform community service.

Paterno said his players were “going to clean out the stadium every Sunday after every home game.” He also said the Nittany Lions would work with the Special Olympics and build a home in Centre County through Habitat for Humanity.

He added that the players would turn their pay for cleaning up Beaver Stadium over to the university’s club sports, whose participants usually perform the work to raise money for their teams.

“We had kids involved in something that was embarrassing and I think we ought to prove to people that we’re not a bunch of hoodlums,” the 80-year-old coach said at a news conference.

“Obviously, I’m probably going to have to keep one or two of them out of a game and drop one or two on the depth chart,” he said. “And then whatever [university officials] think they have to do, they do. I want to do something where the whole team kind of says, ‘Hey, we’re all wrong, let’s go.’ “

Slow clap, Joe.  Slow clap.  I’m just stunned – not only to see Joe Pa do something like this, but to know that Joe Pa still has this much authority over the Penn State football program.  We at HLS salute you!

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Just in case we haven’t already mentioned it, things are a bit slow right now. And when it’s slow, we like to put our technical team to work improving the site.

We offshore for our writing technical talent, so the improvements come along slowly, and the quality is debatable, and the significance is marginal, but, hey, it’s what we’ve got, so…

Anyway, if you look over to the right, you notice that, supposedly, our Notre Dame Football News piece is improved. The widget now scrubs all of the internets – not just the easy to get to pieces – and should also avoid duplicate caused by small-town papers and the evil Associated Press.

Further, we’ve added another news widget. This one keeps track of recent news spewed forth from the 2007 opponents to the Notre Dame football team, so go! Read! Know thy enemy better, man!

Thanks, Technical Team!

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Ok. We probably wont all be dead by Friday. (Except you, sir. The one wearing the “I’m with Stupid” shirt. Word is you’re a goner.) But the offseason is a very slow time, and this is the slowest of the slow times, so I’m just gonna do this right here and right now b/c there’s actually stuff to point out, and if I wait until Friday most of you will probably already know about it and wont click on my links. And then my links will suffer from low self esteem issues. They’re already freaked out about the fact that their thighs touch each other when they walk.

The Roundup:

• You know how NBC broadcasts all Notre Dame home games with the skill and precision of the fry guy at Arbys? Apparently they let the same guys schedule their only good TV shows too. This may strike a death-blow to a planned HLS feature.
• Speaking of television. Remember when everyone was pissed at Notre Dame for striking out on their own with an exclusive television deal? Apparently they were just ahead of their time. Imagine the ratings when one third of Iowa tunes in each week to the Iowa State Hurricanes Typhoons Hair Dryers Cyclones Network. The mind boggles.
• Eric Mangini, he of the Patriots/Belichick/Weis coaching tree and now Head Coach, NY Jets, is probably going to have a problem with holding calls this coming season.
• Dear Lord, can ESPN get any more lame? Yes.
• Weis and the South Bend area just got some great news.
• The guys at IRT are having a bit of fun with Zibby as metaphor. At least, we think it’s metaphor.
• BGS just showed us all how to get creepy with the internets! We’ve placed this little item at the top of our bookmarks folder. Somehow it’s reminding us of the game “Risk.”

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So we here at HLS know that not much is going on right now. It’s difficult to sit through this quiet period every year, and this year is no different.

But, while not much is happening right now, a lot of things happened then…

Here is another great set of clips celebrating some good moments, including some more recent ‘classics’…though I’m not as into the Powerpoint-style picture slideshow portion…

Go Irish!

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