The Chicago Tribune, paragon of accurate news reporting that it is, has a little blurb about changes in the coaching staff at Notre Dame.

If you don’t already know this bit of news, then you clearly aren’t obsessing enough.

Anyway, here’s a small part of the small blurb, since viewing online requires registration, blood sample, and sacrifice of your first born:

Chicago native Corwin Brown is trading in the Big Apple for Touchdown Jesus

There. Now if that doesn’t tempt you to enough to register so that the tribune can claim you as a potential consumer of products being advertised on their site, then I don’t know what will. Don’t you understand that consumption is what drives this great country of ours? What are you, a commie? Go back to Canada*, you commie.

*We’re just kidding, Canada. We know you aren’t all commies.

Update: Chicago Sun Times reports the same, and doesn’t care to know anything about you.

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