…and HLS didn’t score a single nomination.

What the hell!?

Now that I’ve calmed down and stopped screaming obscenities in Berber (a language of Nomadic tribesmen in Northern Africa (look it up)), and my neighbors have all stopped calling the feds, and the feds have all stopped “checking in” on me “for my own well being,” I’d like to address the nominations for each category. This is so not smurfy.

The Trev Alberts Quits To Do Construction Award

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: This award is supposed to go to the funniest blog. How can a blog put up posts like this, this, and this, and not get a nomination for funniest blog?

Best New Blog

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: Um, we’re new.

Best Podcast/Audio Thing

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: We’ve got a podcast thingy. It’s cool. Sure, we don’t actually produce any of the content, but it’s still cool. When it works.

Best Mainstream Media Blog

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: “Mainstream” is such a 1990’s term. In the current millenium, there is no “mainstream” and so HLS can neither be a part of the “mainstream” or apart from it. “Mainstream.” Meh. Hey, why don’t you just bring back the terms “gnarly” and “bad?”

The Keith Jackson Circa 1995 Award For Most Expressive Writing

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: How many times does a blog need to drop the F-bomb or insult the children of an ESPN employee in order to be considered “expressive?”

The Jenn Sterger’s Rack Award for Best Image Gag

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: Oh, c’mon! We know funny!

The Dr. Z Award for Cogent, Interesting Analysis

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: [Looks up 'cogent'] Yeah. Ok. Maybe we don’t so much win this one.

The Brady Quinn Award for Prettiest Looking Blog

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: Uh. Look around, y’all. Y’all think this is easy? Y’all think we just roll out of bed in the morning lookin’ like this?

The Jay Sherman Award for Best Keeping Tabs On The Man

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Appeal For Write-In Vote: Look, people, we keep tabs on the man. And we execute justice whenever we see fit. Just because we don’t go around blabbing about what the man is up to all the damn time doesn’t mean we aren’t keeping tabs on him, ya see? Just be glad that we can read your mail or listen to your phone conversations whenever we see fit. Ungrateful, little punks.

More nominations are rolling in from this little triumvirate five-umvirate of blogs that seem to control this thing, and still no nominations for HLS!

Best Regular Feature

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Plea For Write-In Vote: Yeah, we’ll concede this one. We’re about as regular as Rosie O’Donnell after a Hostess binge.

Best Community Interaction (from you, the reader)

HLS Nomination Status: Not Nominated

HLS Plea For Write-In Vote: It’s not our fault you guys suck at interacting.

More to come, apparently. Great. Sorta like having your ex-girlfriend promise to come back tomorrow to tell you she hooked up with your best friend while you were in the UK.

The final bit of nominations have come along. Can’t say as I’m surprised or ‘nuthin. As there’s only one category for which we’d have been elligible in this final bit of back stabbery, I’ll only mention it and it alone. I welcome this final strike to my heart and soul, as I know it’s over now, and alls that’s left is for the ringin’ in my ears to fade away. Fade away with me into the nothingness…

Best Big East/Notre Dame Blog

HLS Nomination Status: If we were named Blue Gray Sky, Rakes of Mallow, or House Rock Built, our status would be freaking awesome.

HLS Plea For Write-In Vote: In a pool with the afore mentioned ND blogs, we’re definitely the 3rd best. That leaves them to figure out which one should be offended by such a statement.

I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.

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