Dear World,

Please do not drive today if you live within 1500 miles of Chicago. We are snowed in, and I have errands to do. I own a 4-Wheel Drive Vee-Hic-Le. So I have licence to be out there. You do not.

It’s just better that way.

The Roundup:

• If the producers of EA Sports College Football 2007 are striving to make their video game simulate the world of college football, then will College Football 2008 involve a segment where the players try to steal video games? And if that’s so, then will it sort of be like a guy looking at a picture of himself looking at a picture of himself looking at a picture of himself looking at… I just got dizzy.
• Some people wonder why they’re fat and unnattractive to people. EDSBS knows why their Gators are fat and unattractive to the BCS title game. Same reason for which those fat, unattractive people are fat: cupcakes. They also used the word “interlocutor” which is in my Top 5 words I love but still always have to look up to make sure I really know what it means.
• Urban Meyer was invited by congress to discuss the BCS. You know, because congress has that whole war/terrorism/poverty/weird-ass dudes getting elected thing figured out.
• We’re still running our big Notre Dame/Santa Claus picture contest. Go here for the rules and here for the submissions we’ve received so far (Look! There’s one down there!). Submissions are due December 9th, so get them in!
• Completing the Florida Hat Trick (which must be a sign that the Gators will be our BCS opponents), the IRT points out that Florida is not a football factory. Nope. And the guy sitting behind you in the mask is not about to kill you with that large hammer. Ha! Made you look!
• HRB has done some exhausting research to figure out which recently fired little ubran underachiever coach is the most attractive to other programs.

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