Starting Vols tailback Arian Foster, who was recently arrested for “trying to calm down his teammate” weighed in on the spotlight that is often shined on big time college football players by the media:

“We’re human. Everybody is human. I think people forget that. Ain’t nobody have no wings or no halos on them…”

Wait, wait. Everybody is human? F*&K, I have to tell my dog she’s human. And Peej.

Funny how some football players think themselves akin to God when they want, say, an A in a class without doing any work or when they want to get out of trouble. But that they consider themselves ‘human’ without ‘no wings or no halos on them’ when they get in fights outside of bars at 3 am. When drunk. And underage.

Ouch, my brain hurts. I bet Arian felt the same thing…wait, nevermind.

Coach Fulmer, taking a cue from Thug U’s Ms. Shananana(heyheyheygoodbye), suspended the starter Foster for the first half of their upcoming game against Arkansas. Meanwhile he suspended his slightly-less-valuable Fullback for that entire game, and his almost-totally-unimportant Safety Antonio Wardlow for the next 2 games. Isn’t it strange that they all got different punishments? And how the best player that makes the most impact has the shortest suspension? Sound self-serving? Yes, it does.

I didn’t realize that the U had so much influence over the Vols, but apparently that’s the case. Can you imagine ND pulling something like this? Chuck would say:

Hey guys, go kick some old lady’s ass this weekend! Brady, feel free to beat her good because you’ll only get suspended for the first half. Then you can throw for 300 yards and 2 TD’s in the 2nd half and still be in the Heisman race. Travis, you go for it too because you’ll only be gone for that 1 game. Unnamed Scrub Guy, you might as well stab her because you’ll be out for 2 games regardless.

No? Really?

Unnamed Scrub Guy needs to hold onto that knife though.

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