The Nominees for the 1st Ever Donna Shalala Lying Bitch of the Week Award:

• Kenny “Stink Palm” Rogers
• Shawn “What’s In My Insant Breakfast?” Merriman
• The West Virginia Football Team’s Status In The BCS
• The Cardinals as “World Series Champions.”

Thanks to those who wrote in a nomination.  After careful consideration by the judges, we’ve decided to award the First Ever Donna Shalala Lying Bitch of the Week Award to…

Kenny Rogers!

Kenny Rogers, a child of a strawberry farm in Florida, may be best known for being the worst post-season pitcher of all time BEFORE smudge-gate.  And then, oddly, he became perhaps the most dominating picther in post-season history just before the world said, “Hey!  What the hell is that? Dude, he should wipe a little more carfully.”

Thankfully, the smudge wasn’t that sort of smudge.  Nah.  It was just a bit of dirt on the palm of a man who is paid millions every year to worry about pretty much nothing other than his hands.  Yeah.  that’s it.  Just a bit of dirt.

Congratulations, Kenny!  Before today you were only an asshole.  Now you’re a lying asshole with a fancy award!

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