Miami Sets “New Standard”. Tehran and Pyongyang Bow Down To Master.

Washington D.C. - President of the United States, George W. Bush has announced that the "Axis of Evil" formerly made up of Iraq, Iran, and North Korea now consists of Iran, North Korea, and The Institution Formerly Knowns As The University Of Miami.

The designation as a part of the Axis of Evil and the assignment of a new name for the former Universitiy was made by the Administration in response to The Institution Formerly Known As The University Of Miami's announcement that the 1-game suspensions given to players who participated in the brawl between FIU and Miami have been deemed appropriate by the Former University's President and no further punishements will be executed.

President Bush has said he finds this announcement "deeply troubling" and that "only the most heinous and evil sorts of leaders would find this acceptable."

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