With a record of 0-5, I knew Stanford was bad, but I needed to see just how bad. And as we all know, statistics never, ever, evereverevereverever lie.

So here are the stats:

• Rushing O Rank - 101st
• Passing O Rank - 58th
• Total O Rank - 92nd
• Scoring O Rank - 109th
• Rushing D Rank - 119th
• Total D Rank - 117th
• Scoring D Rank - 114th
• Punt Returning - 117th
• Kickoff Returning - 115th
• Pass D Rank - 37th
• Sacks - 113th
• Tackles For Loss - 119th
• Sacks Allowed - 115th

Essentially, given the Rushing D and TFL ranks, there is no reason, at all, to ever have a negative play against Stanford. Every time Darius Walker gets tackled, he should be able to lunge forward for another 2 yards of gain, which is remarkable considering he isn’t even 2 yards tall.

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