ESPN benched ESPNU commentator Brian Kinchen after his recent remarks made during the NIU-Iowa game.

Kinchen was describing how receivers need to have soft and “tender” hands to catch and “caress” the ball.  His next sentence?  “…that’s kind of gay, but hey…”

During the next play Kinchen described a pass as “rad” and said that the receiver was “booking it” for the end zone.  Then he wet-willied his co-announcer and told him he wouldn’t be his Best Co-worker anymore if he didn’t let him have the crackers from his Snack Pack.

Who are these people?  What is going on with Pollsters and Announcers this year? 

We need to get Kinchen together with Lamar Thomas, the notorious Miami commentator that wanted to run down on the field and bust a cap in the UFI players during Miami’s 38th rumble this season.  That would be a fun conversation….

Thomas: I will kill you.

Kinchen: I know you are but what am I!

Thomas:  I am serious. I will stab you in your skull and then run down your family

Kinchen:  Infinity!

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• Brian Kinchen of ESPNU on Louisville’s DB William Gay:
• Chicago Bears Win NFC, Save English Language
• ND Gets Factored. domer.mq Tries To Remember What That Means.

So this week there were a few close calls.  Close calls for Top 10 teams against unranked, unrespected opponents.  In particular, Texas eaked out a win over lowly Texas Tech (5-4) in a comeback.  What are the headlines?   Stuff like “Texas Proves it’s a Winner”, “McCoy Comes into His Own as a Leader”, blah blah blah.  And Tennessee struggled with not-good South Carolina (5-3), pulling out a win there by a touch.  This SC is also unranked. Again, glowing headlines about the Vols’ “mettle” in winning this game.  Finally, Auburn had to come back against SAD competition from Ole Miss, a great school whose football team is not as they are 2-7 on the year. 

What happened in the polls?   Texas moved UP a spot from 5 to 4, and the Vols stayed right where they were at 8.  Auburn struggles with a 2-7 Ole Miss squad and and they move UP a spot as well from 7 to 6.  Hmmmm, okay.  So three Top 10 teams struggled to beat unranked opponents with one of the teams (TX) needing a huge comeback to do it?  Sound familiar?  ND did it last week against UCLA.  Know what happened to them?   Headlines: “Irish Struggle”, “Weaknesses Appear”, blah blah blah.  And in the polls?  ND DROPS TWO SPOTS. 

Someone tell me what is going on.  I feel like I’m taking CRAZY PILLS OR SOMETHING!

And don’t even get me started on USC’s rank of 9 in both polls vs. ND’s 11 and 10.  ND is a 1-loss team with that loss coming to #2 Michigan.  USC has the same record, but with a loss to #36 Oregon State.  I don’t care if they almost came back, I don’t care if OSU got lucky to pull out the win.  They got BEAT by #36 OSU, and were WAY behind early, and have not beaten anyone with maybe the exception of Arkansas.  So how does ND stay below USC?  Get on your knees pollsters…

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• ESPN’s Todd McSucks Continues the Madness
• “WHEN SC beats Notre Dame Next Weekend.”
• The Saga Continues…

You might want to sit down. USC lost this weekend. I know. We didn’t expect it either. At least not like this.

The media? They’ll be ok. We got a therapist working with them, and she says they’re progressing nicely thru the stages of mourning. Just looke what little Stewie wrote during his denial phase:

And yet, right when it seemed USC was headed for an all-out meltdown, falling behind 33-10 with 4:51 left in the third quarter, John David Booty, Steve Smith and Co. went out and mounted a near-epic, Leinart-caliber comeback. Booty, after struggling much of the game, started hitting everything, Smith gave a performance for the ages (11 catches, 258 yards, two TDs) and the defense finally quieted Beavers QB Matt Moore. Ultimately, they fell two points short, but only after Booty (who threw for 405 yards and three TDs) drove them 80 yards in two minutes to score the potential game-tying touchdown with seven seconds left.

That, more than any of their wins over the past month, tell me the Trojans haven’t completely lost their swagger, and should serve as some solace to all those USC fans out there trying to cope with their first regular-season loss since September 2003. There will likely be at least one more loss before 2006 is over, but I’d be feeling a whole lot better about Booty’s chances of leading a potential title run in ’07. (Granted, I’d feel much better than that if Smith wasn’t graduating.

See? Stewie knows it’ll be ok. He just doesn’t know he knows it yet. And the rest of the press? They’re already thru the anger phase. Yeah, they took it out on Notre Dame, but hey, if you’re gonna take it out on someone, at least take it out on someone who can handle it. Can you imagine if they’d taken it out on, say, Boston College?

It’ll be ok. It’s all gonna be ok.

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• Friday Roundup: The “Rivalry” Edition
• Paterno, The Early Years…
• “The silence often of pure innocence persuades when speaking fails.” - B.S.

National Media Outlet College Football Experts,

Listen up.  Eric Hansen, yes, THAT Eric Hansen, of the South Bend Tribune, owns your ass.

Some people will never get past the Tyrone Willingham firing. Some people will never be able to get past the contract extension. Some people will resent him writing a book just a year into his head coaching career. Some people feel like they have to weigh in on every sound bite that comes out of Weis’ mouth.

And that’s OK. But if you’re going to do that, do your homework. Don’t push aside the facts and context for the sake of proving you’re tough enough to take on big, bad Notre Dame. And it wouldn’t hurt to drop in after practice once in a while. If you’re going to have an opinion, shouldn’t the opinion be informed?

And your cheeseburgers.

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• It’s Looking More Official
• UPDATE: Chris Stewart’s MAY Not Transfer
• They Just Wont Leave Barbaro Alone

Ahoy!

Being on this pirate isle, I saw about 20 seconds of the game yesterday because, well, it’s Navy, and in 20 seconds we scored. Twice. That and time on this island is relative, and I have no idea to what.

Anyway, dear readers, the HLS staff is, I’m sure, busy working on some excellent content today, so be sure to check back soon!

I leave you with this thought: BBQ turtle. It rules.

So too does rum.

Mmmm… Rummy, rum, rum, rum. I love rum.

I’m a pirate, bitches.

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• HLS Expert Picks Week 7 Results: The “domer.mq Can Hardly Score Either” Edition
• HLS Drops Ball, Fails to Mock Clarett
• ND Gets Factored. domer.mq Tries To Remember What That Means.

Despite the fact that ND is not playing Purdue, this may well be the most boring week of the college football all season. Luckily Notre Dame gets to renew it’s “rivalry” with Navy this weekend, and we here at HLS would just like to say it’s an honor, Navy dudes.

• The Big Game: Notre Dave vs. Navy
• The Other One: Texas vs. Texas Tech
• The One Nobody Will Watch (Unless they want to see if UNC’s fired coach can FINALLY win one, oh the irony!): Wake vs. UNC

More…

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• HLS Expert Picks Week 6 Results: The Super Stealth Ninja Edition
• HLS Expert Picks Week 5 Results: Panzer March
• HLS Experts’ Picks Week 2: Battle of the #1s and #2s.

Oh Sure, Sed might have the big lead, but a funny thing has happened lately. You can sort of feel it in the air tonight (cue Genesis). Momentum. It’s a fleeting feeling, but when you’ve got it, you should embrace it, and take advantage of it. Sed, at least for this week, don’t got it.

They can both feel it. Ew.

More…

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• Expert Picks Contest Rules: 2006 Edition
• Correction.
• HLS Experts’ Picks Week 2: Battle of the #1s and #2s.

Hey, I’ve got all the respect in the world for the Midshipmen, but when you make a video like this, it’s bound to be posted on the internet for all to see…

PS - Army wouldn’t have used the floor mat. Oh Snap!

UPDATE: Middies play with Legos.

Which is ok.  Legos rule.

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• The Cardinal: Our Band is a Bunch of @$$’s
• BREAKING: Lou Holtz To Rejoin Notre Dame as Athletic Administrator
• Friday Roundup: The “Good Bye Paul” Edition