Here’s what I’ve learned today from the advertising on college football broadcasts…

• Cadillac: It’s cool to be old.
• Dr. Pepper: Can you really live in a world where you’re fatter than Mike Golic?
• GM: We’re finally building those flying cars from Back to the Future 2.
• Desperate Housewives: Being slutty is fun!
• Apple: Even we can’t take the stupid out of glowsticks.
• Hummers: Make you look fat.
• Ruby Tuesday’s: Uh, yeah. You’re sure to love that all-you-can-eat salad with your burgers. Yeah. That’s it.
• John Saunders: I’m a no-talent half-wit with a stick so far up my ass for so long it’s practically driftwood. I should be pelted with empties. In hell, they call me “Master.”

That’s all for now. We’ll update as we learn more thru the day.

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