Maybe Smith should have concentrated on his upcoming game rather than make excuses post-ND-comeback-magic.

And it sounds like MSU doesn’t like it when opposing teams act like they do:

“The celebration for the Illini (2-3, 1-1) got a little testy, when they rushed to midfield to plant their school flag in the Spartan Stadium turf. Players from both sides briefly traded pushes and shoves before heading to their respective locker rooms.”

But, unlike John L., at least Ron Zook is mature man enough to own up to it being lame of his players:

“Zook apologized for the midfield incident. ‘Once again, it’s part of learning how to win,” he said. “We’ll learn how to win and not do those things.”

Somehow I don’t think that Sparty ever will.

Mama said knock you out!

Edit: Here it is! The man be CRAZY!

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I can’t help but feel a little like this week sort of just flew by and we all missed it due to a long emotional recovery from the MSU game and a relatively uninteresting game with Purdue. Which sorta makes me feel like the Purdue game is the ultimate trap game. Afterall, we’re quite aware of the scientific fact that the ramblings and rantings of grown men and women on the blogosphere can and do affect the performances of young men ages 18-23 on the football field (look it up). And Purdue has got to be the most boring football team of 2006. This could very well be what it was like for the British just before the Shot Heard ‘Round The World was fired. They probably thought the colonials were pretty boring too. And we all know what the Rebel Forces thought of the Empire in ROTJ: “ANOTHER Death Star? Seriously? Did you see what we did to your last one? How about a little creativity!” But lo and behold, the force field was quite operational…

So count me as worried. And somebody notify Charlie Weis. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. (Notre Dame by 21.)

Anway, here’s what’s happening on the internets today:

• The House That Rock Built somehow managed to speak to Brian from MGOBlog without puking to get at least a Big 10 perspective on Purdue (since Purdue is so boring, he couldn’t find an actual Purdue blogger).
• The guys at IRT were kind enough to explain to me what the hell H.R. Puffnstuff is/was.
• Jay at BGS has at least some sort of preview of Purdue up.
• Kelly Green does their best to predict the outcome of the Purdue tilt.
• Irish Eyes has a nice scouting report of Purdue up and available to all.
• EDSBS has The Coach Orgeron Song Video up. Everybody now! Yarh yarh yarh yarh yarh yarh yarh yarh… Football.
• Norm Chow, natural enemy of Coaches Who Do Not Adjust, and lover of all things Reggie Bush may be making the leap to College Football after the Titans have become the NC State of the NFL. Oddly, he’s looking at the NC State job. Student Body Right has the story.
• And the Notre Dame Nation is all atitter over Clausen’s performance last night on ESPN2. I hear the guy’s gonna win 6 Heismans. Seriously, homeboy’s got some mad skillz, yo!

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I’ll be headed down to the Oaks Christian – Venice game tonight in Venice, given that it’s in my backyard, to see our future Heisman Winner in action. I hear there will be a ton of ND fans giving him a warm welcome and their support as well.

It should actually be a good game, as far as High School football goes, with both teams boasting experienced players that are blue chip recruits. And you can catch it on ESPN2, which is just sick in and of itself.

While Jimmy battles Venice, I will be battling the sadness in my heart that inevitably rolls around every time I get around teenagers. How did I get so freaking old? And how have they stayed the same age? And was it cool when Matthew McConaughey said that, or just seriously disturbing? And why don’t I know the difference?

All I know is that I will be there to cheer our future QB on, and will be sporting a 70’s mustache and drinking Miller High Life in the process. That’s right, the Champagne of Beers.

Recent photo of the Biscuit.

EDIT 1: Clausen looks much better than I expected. As you’ve all heard, his mechanics are sick. I honestly haven’t seen a quarterback, and that means any QB, throw as tight a spiral. And his accuracy is amazing. Granted, the game is a lot slower, but he put the ball on the money EVERY TIME with the exception of 1 deep pass underthrown by about 2 feet, and one play with a bad snap that threw off his timing. It was 28-3 at half time when we left.

EDIT 2: High School kids’ lives generally suck. I am no longer jealous. I felt horrible for the sad Oaks Christian cheerleaders who can’t seem to get enthusiastic about a team that is UNDEFEATED OVER FOURS YEARS. Why? Most likely because it’s ‘not cool’ to show any emotion at that age. Sad, sad kids.

EDIT 3: The mascot Lion, though, was hilarious. This girl bounced around on a freaking pogo stick while wearing a lion suit that resembled Simba as a kid. About as intimidating disturbing as Bad Kermit in wrestling tights.

EDIT 4: High School football game food is the best and worst thing in the world. It’s absurdly cheap (by LA standards) and worth about half what you pay for. After a hot dog the size of my pinkie, a slice of Domino’s, Nachos with Cheese and some M&M’s I felt like ass. So I went to a bar and drank. Joy of a Thursday. Go Irish.

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SOUTH BEND, Ind.–Notre Dame officials announced Thursday that they will be selling season tickets to alumni, donors, and others affiliated with the University for the first time in thirty years. Five thousand such tickets will be sold at a cost of approximately $413, plus an annual “fee” of anywhere from $1,250 to $2,000, depending on the location of the ticket.

The question Irish alumni are asking themselves is, “Who will have first dibs on the tickets?”

It is widely documented that Notre Dame officials are well known for their successful distribution schemes. Notre Dame representatives were responsible for distribution at several historical events:

Fear not, nerds, there are plenty of Xbox 360s for all of you!

Hey, do we have any ammo left?

You! Boy! How long can you tread water?

Mrs. Donner? Can you pass me another piece of buffalo?

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We’re just not sure of what the hell to do with it. A Hershey Bar to the best caption provided in comments. Thanks to CMC Irish on NDN for posting this…

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While Notre Dame’s Football Program is currently boasting a 95% graduation rate among players (and we have a feeling it would be 99% if not for some transfers), the rest of the college football world is graduating about 77% of their players (and let me just point out that AP Poll #1 THE Ohio State University is brining down the average – by a lot). That average would seem pathetic to most, but the president of the NCAA, Myles “Never Met a PC Cause I Didn’t Like” Brand is excited.
Hey parents of amazing, young highschool athletes: Where do you really want your kid to attend school?

A Quick Review of Our Major Recruiting Opponents and their grad rates:

• Michigan – 71%
• USC – 55% (Seriously, how the hell do you not graduate at least 3/4 of your players?)
• tOSU – 55%
• Texas – 40% (Texas: Experience college before bagging groceries!)
• Florida – 80%
• Miami (Not In Ohio) – 68%
• FSU – 52%

You can find a complete listing of the grad rates by school and sport here.

Edit: Just realized some may need a visualization of the situation:

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WTF? Seriously, who saw that coming? Maybe it’s my blind hatred of all things John Elsmith that kept me from realizing that all games between MSU and Notre Dame must end in bizzare, arrhythmia-inducing fashion.

Anyway, one guy that saw one thing coming that nobody else saw coming was Sed’s call for the score total of the UCLA/Washington game, unless of course he was calling for UCLA to lay 70 points on Washington. Maybe that’s what he was thinking. At any rate, he’s now got a firm, long lead on the rest of us schlubs…

	The ND Game	The Other Big Game	Who The Hell Cares?	Bonus Points	Week Points	Season Points
Bad Kermit	10	10	10	0	30	135
ChisND	10	10	5	0	25	115
The Biscuit	10	10	10	0	30	100
Dneelan	10	10	0	0	20	80
domer_mq	10	0	0	0	10	110
Sed	10	20	10	0	40	165

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Thanks to EDSBS for pointing out this story of how some NC State students like to do a #1 in the stands while their team does a #2 on the field.

It’s believed that an overcrowding problem is at the heart of the matter.

NC State student body president, Will Quick, describes the problem:

“I know people were urinating in their sections,” Quick said. “I have heard reports of individuals being splashed by urine.”

Clearly he’s never cheered on the Irish in Ann Arbor if he thinks that’s so unusual.

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HELL–The Devil, tired of dealing with “a bunch of jerks,” refused entrance to his Dark Kingdom to controversial Cowboys’ wide receiver Terrell Owens. “No way. F@#$ that guy,” the Devil said after Owens tried to kill himself Tuesday night by overdosing on painkillers. “He’s so full of himself! God, what a douche,” the Devil said, while feasting on the entrails of a serial rapist.

Any takers down there? No?

Owens, afraid that the spotlight had shifted slightly off center from his gleaming teeth, took five painkiller pills Tuesday night, hiding the rest unmarked in his sock drawer. Owens also insured that he had a friend within groaning distance of his suicide attempt, causing experts to speculate that Owens’s “suicide” attempt was actually a cry for help.

The Devil quickly dispelled those rumors. “Oh, no. We just didn’t want that c@#$smoker down here,” the Devil said, causing one reporter’s eyes to turn to jelly in his presence. “Me, Hitler, Ivan, Stalin, and Genghis have our own little thing going on down here. We don’t need that showboating @$$hole messing up our dynamic,” the Devil said, his words turning the afternoon sky black and causing fountains to run red with blood. “Plus, his contract is ridiculous,” the Devil quipped, as the earth split, swallowing whole a nearby church.

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Well, I knew my joy over the Jason Whitlock firing could only last a short while. I just learned today that Mitch “I Can Hear You Thinking About Me” Albom (a.k.a. Sonar) has a blog. Yup, the net is now infected. Time to update the ole’ anti-virus software.

And true to form, the guy’s first ever post makes an effort to temper the excitement of Notre Dame fans for the Irish OMG-JohnElsmith-is-the-suck-why-did-they-stop-passing-it-he’s-gonna-get-fired-soon comeback of last weekend. Way to use that new technology to really jump out ahead of the curve with breaking news, Mitch.

Now that Whitlock is gone from ESPN, I’m making Mitch my next target in my genius plan. He’ll soon be left trying to do another book tour for “Tuesdays with Morrie (The really, really special edition where I confess to my crush.)” It’ll be wonderful.

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Citing a total lack of anything interesting happening within the Purdue University Football Team, Her Loyal Sons, NDNation, and pretty much every Notre Dame centric blog in the world failed to create any remarkable content relating to the upcoming game between Notre Dame and Purdue by noon on Wednesday.

“Well, I mean, look at Purdue. It’s like Hoth with corn. Lots of corn. Can we really expect much material coming out of the dead zone?” asked HLS contributor domer.mq, “We’re drawing a blank. I tried to write up a funny ‘press conference translator’ for Joe Tiller’s last press conference. Mid way thru, I got distracted by the season premier of Gilmor Girls. Um, I mean, my wife was watching television and it happened to be on, so…”

The same dearth of interesting material from Purdue has caused the Board Ops at NDN to beg their users to stop posting about MSU. Hey, speaking of MSU, did you see that picture of the MSU players guarding the big ‘S’? LOL!!!!!111111!!! The issue has also caused huge problems for House That Rock Built, who normally hosts an opponent blogger on his Friday Night Lights podcast show. Apparently, Purdue is so boring that there just aren’t any Purdue blogs.

“We’ll probably have to put up a post with the highlights from last year’s game. It’s one of Oldie’s best works, but, seriously, who hasn’t seen that? I think the problem is we put such a beat-down on them last year that they’re no longer interesting. Like that dead racoon on the side of the street. At first you’re like, ‘Wow! Dead racoon! Look at it! So gross! He really got nailed!’ and then, after a few weeks, when there’s still just a little bit of carcass left, cuz, I dunno he was diseased or something and even the birds wont eat him, ‘Eh. Dead racoon. Been dead a long time. Still dead. Who cares?’ See what I mean? Purdue’s a long dead racoon,” explained domer.mq.

“I just wish I’d not pulled the trigger on the Tiller-as-Brimley bit yesterday,” lamented domer.mq.

Meanwhile, HLS contributor ChisND is scouring the net, looking for anything, anything at all, that he can just grab onto for posting material, “They talked a bit of trash last year, so that would have been great. But this year it seems like Tiller’s kept a lid on them. Still, they’re football players from Purdue. The boredom is bound to make them crack. And when they do, I’ll be ready.”

HLS correspondent Bad Kermit would be more concerned, but the firing of Cubs manager Dusty Baker looks imminent, and he can’t be bothered with something as boring and trivial as Purdue Football today. At the same time, HLS correspondent The Biscuit went all Hollywood and forgot about Purdue entirely.

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The House That Rock Built has posted a clip of Michigan sports talk show, Sports Inferno, where the host literally melts down on the air (pulls an MSU?). Highly entertaining and quite sad at the same time. I mean the guy name drops TEDDY FREAKING RUXPIN!! Be sure to listen all the way until the end my friends…you couldn’t write stuff this good if you tried.

Doesn’t meltdown.

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Were the Irish DBs channeling Michael Jordan and Larry Bird on Saturday night? You decide:

Off the expressway over the river off the billboard through the window off the wall NOTHIN’ BUT NET!

Off the hand, off the foot, off the helmet, off the chest, off the shoulder NOTHIN’ BUT WIN!

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Purdue, IN – Pepsi Corporation and Purdue University announced today that Purdue’s Head Football Coach, Wilford Brimley, will renew his role as spokesman for Quaker Oats Cereal. Brimley previously held the position of spokesman for the cereal back when he was better known for his role on the hit television show “Our House.” It wasn’t long after he accepted the position of Head Coach of Football at Purdue that the Quaker Oats brand decided to sever ties with Brimley. However, the recent diet craze involving low or no-carb foods struck the cereal sector quite hard, and the Quaker Oat’s brand is desperate for marketing exposure. Having seen the massive popularity of the Notre Dame themed boxes of General Mills’ Wheaties, the Quaker Oats brand decided to follow suit.

More…

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We’ll stop posting about MSU soon, we swear.  It’s just that they provide so much material.  And by “they,” I mean The Choke Master General, King of Futility, Emotional Disaster Extraordinaire: John Elsmith.

Thanks, Oldie.

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