Showing what’s possible when seemingly impossible physical abilty, genius play-calling, national media attention, angry music, and a really, really big TiVo hard drive come together, the folks at Dietler.net present the first installment of the Grass Roots Campaign for The Shark for Heisman:

Click Here If You Can’t See the Vid.

Man, those defensive backfields must’ve really sucked. Yeah. All of them.

Bonus Points for making Ty Willingham sounds like a Southern Hick. It’s the most inflection the man has ever used in his life.

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• Vote Quinn for Heisman. Literally. No, Seriously Go Do It!
• A Very Brady Heisman?
• Quinn (Not) for The Heisman

The folks over at Team Baby Entertainment have answered that age-old question - What happens when you mash “Baby Einstein” with “Rudy“? Well apparently Baby Irish is born. The company describes it best:

“Baby Irish uses officially licensed footage of Notre Dame sports, mascot, marching band, and campus attractions to expose children to the University of Notre Dame in an exciting and playful manner. “Raising Tomorrow’s NDTM Fan Today” features the music of The Band of the Fighting Irish as well as original footage of the “Baby Irish Kids” enjoying the sites and sounds of the school you love.”

These DVDs seem like such a simple and wonderful way to get those toddlers stared down the path to eternal salvation early in life. Just think how proud you will be when you get that first call from daycare saying little Billy has just beat up that child wearing a USC shirt.

Added bonus - your child will learn to recognize leprechauns without having to endure Leprechaun 1-6.

Some other ND baby related ideas that are long overdue:

• Quarter dog and YoCream flavored baby food.
• “Michigan Sucks” onesies.
• Golden Dome bottles - think gold colored bottle nipple (bonus points for working nipple into a post)

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• Wanna Write For The Greatest Notre Dame Football Blog Ever…
• Announcing Her Loyal Sons’ Bracketitis!
• Jimmy Clausen to Run Spread Option Against PSU

ndolttown wowed me and other folks at NDNation with his latest post, and I’m saving the content here for posterity. Summary: Lou Holtz OWNED College Football:

Thesis: From 1987 to 1993 Lou Holtz won more big games than any coach in history in a similar period of time and more big games than many of the top coaches in history ever did. It is a remarkable and, I would guess, unequalled record of victories over top competition in the history of CFB.

In that seven-year period, Holtz beat fifteen teams that finished in the top ten in the final AP poll. In other words, he beat an average of two top ten finishing teams each year. For perspective, in those seven years of his career, Holtz beat more top ten teams than Joe Paterno has in forty years of coaching and more than the following hall of fame coaches did in their entire careers: Woody Hayes,Bo Schembechler, John McKay, Phil Fulmer, Darrell Royal, Bob Devaney, Bud Wilkinson, and many more.

In terms of rankings at time the game was played, in those seven years, Holtz beat nineteen teams ranked in the top ten at game time - nearly three a year - and twenty-eight in the top 25 - four a year. He played teams ranked in the top four at game time on thirteen occasions and went 10-3.

Holtz beat the number one-ranked team three times (Miami 88, Colo 90, FSU 93); played in 1 vs 2 match-ups three times and won them all (USC 88, Mich 89, FSU 93), and beat undefeated teams in bowl games three times (WV 89, Colo 90, TA&M 93).

In that seven-year period, Holtz beat BCS conference champions 16 times: five wins vs the Big Ten Champ, four versus the Pac Ten Champ, two vs the SEC Champ, two vs the ACC champ, 2 vs the SWC Champ and one vs the Big 8 Champ. For perspective, in those seven years, Holtz had more wins vs conference champs than the following coaches did in their entire careers: Woody Hayes, Darrell Royal, Mack Brown, John McKay, Bud Wilkinson, Steve Spurrier, Phil Fulmer, Bo Schembechler, Barry Switzer, Lloyd Carr, Bob Devaney, and had as many wins in those seven years as Bear Bryant did in his entire career.

In that seven-year period, Holtz played teams with records of 5-0 or better nine times and was 9-0 in those games. He played teams 9-0 or better five times and was 5-0 in those games.

Lou Holtz: Owned You, Me, and the NCAA

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• One Last Bit Of The Awesome
• The Next Coach at Michigan? You Heard it Here First:
• Ian Williams, All American

The fellas at Trojan Wire pointed out USC’s Lawrence Jackson was featured on the regional cover of ESPN: The Magazizzy. What made me chuckle was the choice of nickname: “Lo Jack”.

As USC quickly takes its place among the upper echelon of easy blogging fodder, we eagerly await more Nick Name Fun.

Where The Grillz At?

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• Just a Reminder…
• USC May have Broken Rules While…Talking about Breaking Rules?
• Farewell, Robert Goulet

Can’t Help ND Win a MNC

The rookie sqaud of the University of Notre Dame’s 2006 inevitable champions Football Team apparently can’t carry a tune. Charlie says he’ll have the group lead the rest of the team in singing the “Fight Song”, whatever that is, in the near future. In reading the article, it would seem the eventual goal is to get the rookies comfortable with singing the Victory March. Perhaps this is another one of those clever messages Charlie likes to send the team by referring to the Victory March as a “Fight Song.” You know, to make a point that you have to fight first in order to be victorious. Yeah. That’s it.

Anyway, since we know that Charlie frequents this site*, we’d like to pass along our requests for the 28 Man Freshman Choir:

1. Like a Virgin - Madonna
2. Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl) - Looking Glass
3. Tunnel of Love - The Boss
4. I’m on Fire - The Boss
5. You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

We hope this list helps in conveying one more message to the Freshmen, Charlie: Keep Away From Jock Sniffing Skanks.
*This is a lie.

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• The Young and the Restless
• “The silence often of pure innocence persuades when speaking fails.” - B.S.
• Army All American Game Photos

About 30 Uber Geeks at Georgia Tech Preparatory School got really nervous about the impending doom of the approaching Notre Dame match and employed 40 million industrial fans deployed along the Gulf Coast to force Hurricane Ernesto into a hard Northerly turn to the right, towards Atlanta, GA.

Being really good at math and physics, but really sucky at reading comprehension, Joe Buck Pelthammer, a senior at Georgia Tech and leader of this “Environmental Redirection Project” said, “We all heard about Quinn, Zbikowski, and Samardzija, but then I got reading some other stories about ND. Did you know the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse play for them? I mean, I knew they were Catholic, but geez.” When asked where Pelthammer and his band of cowards placed all 40 million fans, he replied, “Uh. Well, mostly along the Mississippi coast. We figure nobody actually ever visits there anyway.”

Thus far the fans have had an unknown effect on Hurricane Ernesto, but computer models are now projecting the eye of the storm passing along the East coast of Georgia on Friday. “We may need to slow the fans from setting ‘3′ to setting ‘2′. We don’t want a complete u-turn,” said Pelthammer. Other effects have already taken place. For example, nobody on the coast on Mississippi can actually hear what anyone else is saying. When asked over the phone about what she thought of the 40 million fans along the coast of her state, Marie Urplenurple replied, “Yeah. I love moonpies.”

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• Dog Kicked, Dead. Wall Getting Nervous.
• Steele Picks ND #19. Stone.
• Charlie is content, and I’m nervous.

What up, bitches!? Boo-yah! As we all know, the pudgy-fingered, throws-like-a-girl staff of CNNSI.com knows their shizzle when it comes to bed-wetting NCAA Football, and they’ve decreed the 2006 ND/USC game as the #1 Game to watch this season. Wha-POW! Book it! Stone.

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• Friday Roundup: The “Nobody’s In The Office” Edition
• Bruton Named to Thorpe Watch List
• Mmmmm… Optimism…

Poodle is looking to find himself a decent 3-Technique Defensive Tackle. Probably nothing surprising there. What’s sent the world into a tizzy is that if you follow this link and read the little sidebar next to the main article, you’ll see that someone outside of an actual football program has gone and explained what the hell “3-Technique” actually means.

The author of this little blurb lets the masses behind the curain with:

The “3-technique” describes where the defensive tackle lines up and how he plays. The 3-gap is between the offensive guard and tackle, shaded to the guard’s outside shoulder, opposite the 1-gap where the nose tackle lines up between the center and guard. Ideally, the “3-technique” tackle will control the gap and keep his feet moving, forcing everything back to the inside as he frees the nose tackle, end and linebacker on his side to make plays.

Men everywhere who previously just smiled and nodded whenever their comrades would use “3-Technique” in a conversation are now just dying for the first opportunity to try out their new-found vernacular. This is bound to cause an explosion of, “I really like how [name of defensive tackle] is using the 3-Technique today,” that will probably soon rival, “Man, [name of quarterback] is really doing a nice job reading thru his progressions.”

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• Poodle Pete: I’m As Stupid As I Look.
• USC May have Broken Rules While…Talking about Breaking Rules?
• Pete Carroll Hits Cop