August 31, 2006

Wannstedt Declared “Next Pete Carroll”; Carroll Ordered to Grow Pornstache

Eric Moneypenny wrote a brilliant piece of shit suggesting that Dave Wannstedt is the “next Pete Carroll.” This begs two questions about Moneypenny:

  1. Why did James Bond want to nail this guy?
  2. Has this guy ever watched football? At any level?

Having watched Wannstedt film a German Scheisse video all over the Bears’ collective chest coach the Bears badly, I don’t know what Moneypenny is seeing here. My memories of Wannstedt involve a lot of this…

Ricky Williams went WHERE?

and this…

Is that my collar, or a noose tightening?

and this…

We should have got the live chicken.

and none of this…

I miss you, 1985.

He sucked with the Bears, he sucked with the Dolphins, he got dismantled by an underdog Irish squad at home last year. If Dave Wannstedt is the next Pete Carroll, then I’m going to be the first to declare Dick Jauron the next Bear Bryant.

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2 Comments

At September 1st, 2006 at 10:46 am, domer.mq said...

You forgot to mention the time my Patriots kicked your Bears tail up and down the field in that game of Madden back in school. You know the one. I think that can be blamed on pornstachio was well.

At September 1st, 2006 at 11:03 am, Bad Kermit said...

And you must have forgotten about the ‘85 Super Bowl. You know. The one that happened in reality.

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