Pluto Declared “Not Planet,” Chris Stewart Declared “Planet”

Bad Kermit - 11:30 am

Remember the days when we couldn’t recruit guys who could single-handedly beat Michigan destroy Tokyo? Those days are finally over, guys. Freshman OL Chris Stewart is listed at 6′5″, 367. In honor of Pluto’s abrupt entry into the galactic free agent pool, I’m going to be referring to Pluto as “Stewart” until Pluto finds a new home. That’s right, folks. The “new”-monic shall now be, “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Sandwiches.”

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