The scientific community as well as the nation at large was stunned this week to learn that Head Coach of The Univeristy of Washington Football Program, Ty Willingham achieved “Awareness“. Scientists specializing in the study of Artificial Intelligence point to this article as evidence that Ty has grown “aware” of his position as a coach. Of football. At the collegiate level. The scientists are also investigating the display of apparent forethought Ty showed in actually preparing his team for a scenario, any scenario, that may actually have an effect on an actual game. Of football.
“Previously Ty did only 3 things, and they were all very mechanical: Clapped in rhythm, swung a golf club, and drilled his team in the art of the ‘Swinging Gate’,” said renowned Artificial Intelligence Expert Hans Hasselhoff of M.I.T. “He would also, rarely, point with his index finger, directly into the sky. But that only occured after his team would score a touchdown. So, like I said, that was very rare.”
Hasselhoff went on to explain that those behaviors seemed trained at best and most likely programmed. This new behavior, of actually recognizing a new rule, realizing that his team needs to know about this rule, and then actually practicing within the parameters of the rule indicates a new level of sentience for Willingham. Still, Hasselhoff warns people not to get too excited, “It may well be that we’re all being tricked here. I mean, he didn’t really say much at all during the practice. He never does. It might be that some of the players read about the rule on their own and, since nothing else was happening during practice, they figured they could use the time to work on adjustments themselves.”
Hasselhoff and other memebers of the A.I. Research Lab at M.I.T. plan to reserve judgement on whether or not Willingham is displaying any real signs of intelligence until the end of the 2006 season, “We can’t really know much of anything at this point. He’s fooled us before. We used to believe he was thoughtful because he was so quiet, but now we believe that when he’s quiet, there’s really nothing going on back there. Nothing at all.”